


By Sweet Definition

by baeconandeggs



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:29:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3936808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life gave Baekhyun a camera so he could take pictures. Life gave Chanyeol a garden so he could plant flowers. And life gave them each other so they could fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By Sweet Definition

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is a bit more rushed than the rest of the story, and the story is WAY longer than what I'd anticipated, but I hope it's not too bad, and that you enjoy it ;;; I apologize for ALL errors you find. My eyes are not good, lol. OH, the story was slightly inspired by "Save the Best for Last" by Vanessa Williams. Listen to it after you read. (Or never, if you don't wanna..lol) :) Also, thank you to my wonderful beta for all your help, and sorry for being so stupid T_T You were amazing dear!

Baekhyun didn’t even get the chance to look at what the people were running to before he was pushed along with the crowd toward the back of the garden, where the peonies and daisies were planted. All he wanted was to visit The Phoenix in peace for once, but people were always acting insane and refused to let that happen. What could he do about it though? He was just a little brunet man of 174 centimeters, making it much easier for people to accomplish ignoring him. He had no choice but to go with the flow. Literally.

The only thing he was truly concerned about anyway was the costly camera slung around his neck. His hands firmly gripped the fragile device just in case he was unlucky enough to trip over somebody’s feet and send the appliance flying halfway across the yard. If that were to happen, he swore to the moon and back that he’d unleash whatever amount of evil he had inside and start kicking ass until he was satisfied with himself.

The crowd came to an abrupt halt shortly after Baekhyun mused on the notion of violently beating some unfortunate soul, where he decided it was the best time to stand on his toes and get a peek at the incident since he was there already.

He saw a young woman, perhaps in her mid-twenties, standing next to the bed of white daisies with her arms crossed and an apologetic yet shocked mien aimed downward at a strikingly handsome pair of raw and round eyes. The owner of those eyes was on one knee and was holding a navy velvet box in the hand propped up on that levitated leg. It took less than a second for Baekhyun to understand what was going on, and like all the other people he was mentally cursing at just moments prior, he tuned into the show, letting his inner romantic shine subtly.

All corners of the garden submerged in silence so that the vast audience could hear the dialogue.

“Chohee,” the man enunciated, his voice resonating throughout the expanse. He paused shortly and grinned at her. “Would I be so lucky as to marry my best friend? The response to this question belongs with you, inside your beautiful heart, and today, I hope you will be able to tell me.”

In the sea of “Awww’s” rippling around was Baekhyun’s stifled chuckle at the corny speech, though he questioned if it could even be considered a speech in the first place. It was a little messy yet simple in the worst way possible and sounded like something a hormonal twelve year old would write, but Baekhyun decided he wasn’t allowed to criticize another person’s proposal, especially since he had never given one before. The man probably racked his brains out at home just to come up that tiny piece.

When the people gasped in unison, Baekhyun was pulled back into the reality of the scene, his eyes widening with curiosity and anticipation, and even a little fear. There was a split second where he thought of how much of a shame it’d be if she said—

“No, I can’t,” she whispered, nodding her head so low that it nearly hit the male’s.

Everyone faded into an ambience of sourness, including Baekhyun, whereas this “Chohee” girl simply turned and left.

-

“That’s a damn shame,” the woman next to Baekhyun muttered to him before walking away, and he nodded back gently even though his view was still fixated on the male kneeling in the center of what Baekhyun finally perceived to be a heart, unintentionally made by all the bystanders who could not help themselves. However, just as Baekhyun’s own heart did, and without a doubt the man’s, the formation broke right down the center.

Baekhyun then started moving toward him, though all movements were beyond his control. He found himself standing beside the pitiful stranger within a ten second frame, his hand resting calmly on his broad, droopy shoulder as he coughed up what was supposed to be a comforting comment. “There are plenty of fish in the sea who’ll like the bait you dangle. Don’t give up hope yet.”

All he got in return for his remark was a confused glare, tainted with tears. “Uh...thanks?”

“It’ll get better if you’re patient.”

“What if it doesn’t get better? What if this is it? We’re just done and she walks away with half of me and never brings it back and I’m just left here, an incomplete half of a human being?”

“Well, I’m—”

“There must be something wrong with me.”

“I don’t think so—”

“Who would want to marry me anyways? I’m an idiot. Just a big, stupid idiot. Can’t even propose correctly. Spent two damn months writing that stupid speech.”

_So I was right,_ Baekhyun thought while he remembered his reaction to the proposal earlier. He almost felt bad for being so judgmental and critical, yet he stood by his thought that it all could’ve been so much better. From the looks of it, the man needed to ask a better girl too, because any woman who could leave a man on his knees, crying, was not worthy of love.

“Six years,” the stranger carried on, breaking Baekhyun from his trance, “I thought that after six years, we’d be on our way to a happy life together, but did you see how she walked away?”

Baekhyun plainly nodded, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get more than a couple words out before the man began ranting again. But then a minute or two passed by, and he said nothing at all. He didn’t move a muscle. He perched limply, as if all his limbs had been stolen, and his strength had been drained. Again, Baekhyun felt a tug at his heart, and he knew it was insane, what he was about to do next, but it felt necessary and right.

He cleared his throat first, and then asked, “Would you like to get something to eat?”

-

A hospital is not exactly the most ideal place to take a person out for lunch, Baekhyun realized just as they reached the arched entrance of the Bijou Children’s Hospital. He sensed the man’s glare shift from the sidewalk to him, making Baekhyun grimace in uncertainty and fear of offending the him in any way. 

_But could his day really get any worse?_ Baekhyun thought. After being turned down in such an unexpected, almost cruel way, joining a room full of children was probably the best thing that could happen to him. Baekhyun clung onto this piece of confidence and continued on their path inside the building, leading them silently along the buzzing corridors until they entered a dining hall full of children. Adults were scattered, no more than two per table.

“We can eat over here,” Baekhyun said as he gestured toward the nearest empty table. He watched the male slide into a chair and beamed kindly, like he was offering some kind of truce. “I’ll get us some lunch. I think today is miso. Are you okay with that?”

“Of course. Thanks.”

Baekhyun didn’t know if a reply was necessary, so he glided over to the lunch lady at the far left of the cafeteria instead. She was an older woman, somewhere in her late forties, and she wore the same uniform every day: a black apron over a loose baby blue t-shirt and white capri pants. She kept her hair clipped back but a few strands managed to find a way to escape and hung loosely over her eyes. However, it didn’t hinder her ecstatic expression when she saw Baekhyun making his way over. She even stopped working just to meet him halfway where she took his hands and kneaded them in her own two.

“It’s been four hours, Byun Baekhyun! I was so scared that something may have happened, but I’m so happy to see you!”

“I know, Mrs. Do, and I’m sorry, but I kinda ran into a snag.” Baekhyun inclined inward, putting his face right next to her ear. “You see that person sitting at table eight?”

“Yes, what about him?”

“Well, he proposed to a girl at the garden I always go to, but she turned him down, so I went over to comfort him, and he started talking… a lot. And then I asked him to go to lunch.”

Mrs. Do pulled back and gave him a raised brow. “I’m not following. Why is this relevant?”

Sighing loudly, Baekhyun tried to make sense of the circumstances again. “We don’t know each other. I don’t even know his name, but I felt really bad for him, so here we are. I hope you don’t mind making us some lunch.”

“We welcome anyone, dear. Just make sure he’s not a danger of sorts to you or the children. I’ll bring over your food when it’s ready.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” He pivoted and ambled back to the table where he took his seat directly across from the other. They sat in a mild stillness for a few seconds before Baekhyun couldn’t take the inquiries piling up in his head anymore. He tapped on the surface of the table to gain the male’s attention and asked a question he should’ve asked long ago—maybe before bringing him to lunch. “What’s your name, by the way? I’m Baekhyun.”

“Chanyeol.”

“Chanyeol?” The name rolled off of Baekhyun’s tongue, making him giggle contently. “That’s a beautiful name. _Chan...yeol._ You have a last name, Chanyeol?”

“Yeah, it’s Park.”

Baekhyun gasped in disbelief. “Wow, what a fun name! Park, Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol. Park—”

“Okay, you’re wearing out my name there.”

“Sorry, it’s just so nice.” Once again, Baekhyun proffered his sweet grin as a ceasefire and a conversation mover. “So, I know what happened today was awful, and you may not want to talk about it with someone you hardly know, but it’s better than bottling it all inside.”

“I know. And thank you, for your generosity. You were the only person who came up to me.”

“Well, what can I say? I just happen to have feelings.”

For the first time since they met, which was only half an hour ago, Baekhyun saw Chanyeol crack a smile, and it set him at ease with their situation. It wasn’t forced or awkward, as Baekhyun had expected, but soft and genuine. It was a shock to know that somebody of such a large and mean-looking stature could be so soft.

His eyes had the same effect. They had been tired and pained earlier, but now, they were so tender and hazy. Baekhyun liked them.

“Would it make you feel more comfortable if we got to know each other a little better first?” Baekhyun suggested upon registering how tense Chanyeol was.

“I think I’m past that, with all that I said back there.” Chanyeol groaned to himself. “I can’t believe I did that. I am so incredibly stupid.”

Just as Baekhyun was about to say something back, Mrs. Do interrupted with their meal. “Here’s your food, honey.” She served them each a bowl of rice and miso soup along with some side dishes. When she finished, she immediately left the two alone again, but from her little corner, she watched intently.

Baekhyun picked up his bowl and raised it in Chanyeol’s direction, encouraging him to follow suit. “Come on, let’s eat! It’s not much, but this—”

“Baekhyun! Baekhyun!” A group of young children stampeded in their direction, every individual wearing a different face of sheer excitement and bliss. They pushed and pulled, competing to see who could give Baekhyun the biggest, warmest hug, totally disregarding the fact that another person was sitting with him.

“Hey, how was lunch? Was it fun? I hope Ms. Jung wasn’t too harsh today.” Baekhyun picked up the tiniest girl in the crowd and cautiously set her on his lap. “Youngie, you look so beautiful. Did you eat a delicious meal?”

The little one nodded, and with the help of Baekhyun, she planted a kiss on his cheek. In a high-pitched voice, she said, “I ate a lot so that I can grow up to be beautiful and healthy and marry you, Baekkie.”

Two of the boys who stood beside Baekhyun began to howl. “Look at that, Youngie has a boyfriend!”

“Now there’ll be no teasing Hyunwoo. Junsu, you too.”

Another young girl with thin caramel hair strayed from the rest when she finally noticed Chanyeol sitting at the other end of the square table. She walked to his side, looked up, and pointed a scrawny finger at him. “Baekhyun, what is this tower?”

“Ah, right. Kids, this is, uh, Mr. Park Chanyeol. I met him today, and we became—” He had paused to think of a word to correctly define their relationship. Helplessly, he looked to Chanyeol for some help, but that turned out to be a dead end when all he got was a shrug. There wasn’t really anything to put a label on anyhow, but the children were staring so keenly while he thought that Baekhyun felt it was only common courtesy to conjure an answer, notwithstanding whether it was the truth or just a lie. “—We are acquaintances.” 

“What’s an ‘aquariance’ then?”

“An _acquaintance,_ Yeonseo, is like a friend.” Everyone nodded like they understood, but Baekhyun was sure they had no clue of what he was talking about. “And you wanna know what else? We became friends because we happen to be suffering from the same problem.”

Feeling a tug on his shirt, Baekhyun’s attention diverted down to a worried Youngie with a frown splattered across her face. “What’s hurting you, Baekkie?”

“Oh nothing is hurting _me,_ but there are a bunch of little buggers who won’t let me or this kind sir eat!”

With that, the children dispersed from the table, giggling and tittering as the pitter-patter of their tiny feet eventually faded off into nothing. They returned to their designated lunch stations. Baekhyun couldn’t give his attention back to Chanyeol until he was sure that all of them were back where they belonged, though as soon as he turned to face the other again, he apologized. “They’re very affectionate, but talkative and curious. I’m so sorry.”

Chanyeol protested firmly. “It’s endearing. Really. Reminds me of everything I...don’t have. And probably never will have.” 

“You have time. Don’t punish yourself for what she decided, but don’t punish her either.”

“But this all could’ve been avoided if I would’ve just shut up and not ask her. I’d be a thousand times less embarrassed, and we’d probably still be together.”

“Wait, she broke up with you?” Baekhyun’s eyes enlarged and he leaned in closely. “Did she?”

“She said no when I asked her to marry me, so doesn’t that constitute for a break-up?”

Baekhyun shook his head and returned to resting against the back of his chair. He shifted at least three times until he was comfortable and spoke. “No, it doesn’t. In your case, rejection implies that the timing is not correct. Maybe she needs to think some things through first. However, if she breaks up with you, she probably doesn’t love you anymore.”

He gave a minor shrug afterward as if everything he just said held very little meaning, but it scared Chanyeol out of his skin, as Baekhyun realized when he saw the way the taller man began rocking from side to side in his seat. Baekhyun only meant well, but the truth was inevitable in the same way that death is. Sooner or later, Chanyeol was going to come to these conclusions on his own; Baekhyun was just offering a nudge.

Picking up his chopsticks, Baekhyun pinched a piece of the seasoned seaweed near him and placed it in Chanyeol’s bowl of rice.

“Eat,” he said. “We can talk things over after we have food in our stomachs.”

“I’m not that hungry,” Chanyeol replied, both his voice and mannerisms coming off as rather strained. “I’m going to step out and make a phone call, but I promise I’ll be right back.”

Baekhyun nodded and watched him leave through the side door in a rush. He bet himself that Chanyeol was making an effort to run for his life now, especially after everything he just heard. Baekhyun shook his head and looked in a different direction, where he saw his very short friend practically skipping his way over. 

“Hey Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said dully without really acknowledging his friend’s presence. His eyes remained on the door through which Chanyeol had disappeared. He couldn’t help but worry. It took a few minutes for his awareness of Kyungsoo to kick in, and when he finally turned around to face the other, he noticed the way his gaze dug into the depths of judgment. “Let me guess, you want to know who, what, where, when, why, and how.”

“It crossed my mind,” Kyungsoo answered sarcastically. “What? He didn’t eat my mom’s food? That ungrateful bastard.”

“Wow, somebody forgot to take their meds with the children this morning.”

“Shut it, you bum. So, give me the details. New boyfriend? Sex partner? Fiancé?”

Baekhyun raised his hand to put a stop to Kyungsoo before he continued. “Please stop listing off television dramas. You’re making my head hurt.”

“Tell me!”

“Just a stranger, Kyungsoo! A poor, dejected, _rejected_ fool who proposed to his girlfriend and had absolutely no luck.”

Kyungsoo’s face scrunched into a pucker. “What business does he have loitering around a children’s hospital, and you around him?”

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun sighed. “I just want to help him. I’ve never seen such a sad person before in my life, and so I’m considering inviting him to work here with me.”

“Why?” The one word was dragged out by Kyungsoo until Baekhyun’s brows furrowed in intense thought.

“The kids...they can fill that void a lot better than alcohol or strip bars. Also, it’s a nice community. If you could keep your rude comments to a minimum, that’d be great.”

It seemed logical. Sort of. “Alright, but I am genuinely curious about that hunk. He’s hot, and if I didn’t have Jongin, I’d—”

“Dear God, I beg you not to finish that sentence!” Baekhyun cried, bringing his hands up to his ears for protection. He giggled at the reaction Kyungsoo launched his way and lowered both arms to entangle his fingers together before setting them on the tabletop, indicating that he had no desire to build on this conversation any more than he already had.

Nothing had even been established yet, so to tell Kyungsoo anything was to mislead him.

No more than a minute later, Baekhyun looked up to find that Chanyeol had reentered the room with his head hanging low and a broken mien—the same one he wore right after he was turned down by the evil wench.

Baekhyun lightly kicked Kyungsoo’s shin under the table. “Leave,” he hissed.

“What? I just got— _oh, I see._ ” A dirty smirk spread on Kyungsoo’s face. “I think I’ll stay and see how this goes.”

“You have five seconds to— _hi Chanyeol!_ This is my friend, Do Kyungsoo. He is the son of the lady who brought us lunch and a dear friend of mine.”

“Dial down the sarcasm,” Kyungsoo said through gritted teeth before facing the mysterious man. “Hello there. Aren’t you a little too cute to be looking so sad?”

Baekhyun facepalmed. Chanyeol grinned and tilted his head to the side. “Aren’t you a little too married to be flirting with someone as sad as me?”

All three pairs of eyes settled in on Kyungsoo’s left hand and his little ring finger which in fact wore a silver band, as Chanyeol had so kindly pointed out.

Dumbfounded and partially humiliated, Kyungsoo pushed himself away from the table and stood, his ambition reflecting like sunlight on a diamond. His “evil” scowl, which turned out to look more childish and laughable instead, came forth.

“Actually, Mr. Wise-Ass, I’m a little too engaged for you. Some of us are actually successful in that little area of life, unlike—”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Baekhyun stood and pushed his friend along before he could cause more damage than he already had with that little comment. While dismissing Kyungsoo, Baekhyun kept his head turned back and his vision closely centered on Chanyeol’s look of defeat. He finally hauled Kyungsoo to his mother and bowed in respect before sprinting back to the table. “I’m so sorry about him. He’s got some sort of personality disease, I swear. He jumps back and forth like that all the time, and he says a lot of things he doesn’t mean.”

“You don’t have to explain him to me. Despite his honesty and accuracy, I don’t really care.” He held out his phone for Baekhyun to see, then shoved it into his pant pocket. “Called Chohee. She said exactly what you said. She needs ‘more time to think things through’ and stuff.”

“But no break-up?”

Chanyeol shook his head and repeated, “No break-up,” though in the back of his mind, he thought, _At least not yet._

“That’s great then! I mean, not really because what she wants is keeping you antsy, but at least you still have her at the end of the day.”

“Right, to a certain extent. We kinda agreed not to see each other until she could make up her mind.” Chanyeol took in a deep breath and released it in short fragments of time to stabilize his breaking voice. “I just hope this nightmare ends soon.”

All at once, those words sank into Baekhyun’s skin with a sting. He felt an unnatural obligation to do something that would take this feeling of hopelessness away from Chanyeol. After all, this was but a nightmare; it was sweet reality. The inability to see this fact, as far as Baekhyun understood, was a dangerous flaw. Were there going be consequences for this urge to interfere in a stranger’s life? Of course, but nothing bad could possibly happen. It was quite the simple process to Baekhyun: go in, patch up the holes, leave without so much as a scratch. Not only was it smart, but it was safe too.

“I happen to be skilled in the art of distraction, if you’re willing to trust me,” Baekhyun said warmly. He then spread his arm across the table with his palm supinated. “Do you trust me enough to give me your hand?”

It was amazing how quickly words were rendered useless, especially when faith was created between two souls by something as easy as a smile. And instead of anticipating the fall of Chanyeol’s significantly larger hand into Baekhyun’s own, the former took Baekhyun’s tiny hand and fit it in his.

“Your hand is too small,” he said.

Baekhyun ended up pulling away, flustered. “It’s fine,” he uttered. “But really, do you trust me?”

“Of course,” Chanyeol replied instantly. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what you think it means. If I didn’t trust you, I’d have never come here with you.”

Knitting his brows tightly together, Baekhyun shook his head. “You can’t _look_ at somebody and decide that you will confide in them. It’s too easy and dangerous.”

“That wasn’t the reason why,” Chanyeol explained sternly, his eyes squinted in a manner that let Baekhyun know how hard he was trying to control his emotions and not let them guide what he wanted to say, or the delivery of his words. “Just look at where you brought me. A children’s hospital. Do you honestly expect me to fear somebody who willingly surrounds himself with children?”

Time stopped abruptly. Baekhyun tried to come up with a witty comeback to defend himself with, but Chanyeol had already effortlessly turned him into an idiot and it was too late to recover from this kind of slaughter. Despite it being one of the most embarrassing moments of Baekhyun’s life as he knew it, he kept a positive attitude and nonchalantly responded. “Even the most dangerous serial killers have their weaknesses.”

“You’re not a serial killer, Baekhyun.” He sounded so sure. Baekhyun wondered why, but he didn’t have to ask for his question to be answered. “I trust Youngie’s taste. She’d have never fallen in love with someone that’d harm her.” Chanyeol paused, looked down, smirked, and then lifted his head back up. He dragged his words out even more than before. “What’d you do to make her fall for you?”

“Um, honestly, I don’t know. She’s only five. I didn’t think she was capable of that feeling.”

“She seems to know it like the back of her hand.”

Baekhyun truly didn’t know. He guessed starting at the beginning of everything would be the wisest way to go. “I’m a photographer. Nature, mainly flowers, and the sky, are my preferences. A few years ago, as a fun project, I started making scrapbooks for this hospital, and I visited once a month to deliver.” He had to stop and count on his fingers first. “I’ve been doing it for eight years now, and when Youngie transferred last year, she was put in the ward that I work in. That’s the basic start.”

“Ah, so her style is a man of the arts? I guess I’m out of her league.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure. What do you do?”

“I’m a florist of some sort. I own some gardens and floral shops here in the city, a few out near the city’s borders, and pretty much throughout the country. The one we were at, The Phoenix—”

“Oh my God!” Baekhyun squealed, cutting the other off. He covered his mouth with both of his hands, but he couldn’t control his excitement and began jumping up and down in his seat like a child who had just laid his eyes on a sweet treat. By the time he calmed his nerves, all eyes were on him, though he couldn’t care less. “You’re the mastermind behind The Phoenix? I’ve been waiting all my life as a photographer just to meet you, and I-I can’t! How is this even possible?”

“I went to school for seven years and studied plants—”

“No, I mean my fate! How is it even possible that I met you? I’m like, scum, compared to you. You have the most beautiful garden ever!” 

“Thank you,” Chanyeol muttered shyly.

“You _have_ to make scrapbooks with me now! I’d love special permission from you to take pictures behind the scenes, and the kids would love to meet you! We need to make this happen!”

“I’m no celebrity. I doubt the kids will care.”

“Are you kidding me?! How dare you say Youngie loves a man of the arts, but deny yourself of this gift? You _are_ the arts! Without you, I wouldn’t be able to create anything!” Baekhyun threw his body over the table and grabbed Chanyeol’s hand. “Please, do this for them! If I could bring you up there after lunch and just introduce you, I’d be a hero!”

No hesitation was needed. As soon as Chanyeol bobbed his head, it flung Baekhyun back into a spiral of fanboying. He deeply breathed in and out while fanning his red face, and his lips moved without rest. 

This wasn’t like his usual self. He had trained himself to carry a solemn image for years now, but in less than five minutes, it had all come undone. He continued complimenting Chanyeol’s works of art, and Chanyeol simply and sincerely listened, not because Baekhyun was talking about him, but because Baekhyun was showing a bright, lively side of him, unlike earlier when he was so stern about everything. 

Chanyeol was under the impression that only Youngie could bring out this side of him, but he was wrong.

As for Baekhyun, he was so unconscious of his character change as he went on and on about his love for The Phoenix, but around the room, the people who had known him the longest were seeing exactly what they wanted to see: a happy Byun Baekhyun.

-

After a long lunch, with Baekhyun spazzing his heart out and Chanyeol openly accepting the spazz, they headed up to Ward 6, the section of the hospital that Baekhyun worked in. It was in the west wing of the building, hidden behind two sets of large white doors that swung both ways with the correct amount of force. It was a considerably long walk through the corridor between the first and second doors.

“I’m so glad this is happening,” Baekhyun chimed, breaking the quiet tension. “Not only will this benefit the children, but it will really help you too.”

“I know,” Chanyeol returned as they broke through the white barriers and fell into a room full of children sitting on their beds, some of which Chanyeol recognized from lunch.

Baekhyun moved first, followed closely by Chanyeol, and they weaved their way through to the middle of the room.

“Okay everyone!” he announced loudly, clapping his hands together. “Please give me your attention! I have something to say!”

_“It’s the tower!”_

_“Baekkie is so small!”_

_“He’s always been small!”_

“Attention!” Baekhyun tried again, and when that turned out to be a total flop, he pulled out a trick that had always worked. “Well, since nobody wants to listen to me, I’ll just be on my way out of here.”

No more than three seconds passed by before every head in the room turned to Baekhyun, their eyes fixating on the expression of the elder.

“Good,” Baekhyun began. “Now these are my good little ones. Are you listening?” They nodded. “Okay, this is Mr. Park. He’s going to be helping out around here for the next few of weeks, so treat him a lot nicer than you treat me!” Baekhyun turned to Chanyeol and raised his brows. “Would you like to introduce yourself?”

Chanyeol sighed and stepped forward. The pressure of having more than a dozen pairs of young eyes on him sank in as he cleared his throat. “Um, hello children. You guys can just call me Chanyeol. No formalities necessary, but as Baekhyun said, I’ll be helping around here for a while. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I trust you guys will take good care of me.”

“We will,” the entire room, including Baekhyun, said.

_“I don’t think I will.”_

Baekhyun turned around and greeted a not-so-pleased Sooyeon, or as the children know her, Ms. Jung. “Don’t be like that. We could really use the help around here.”

“Do you even know this guy? Word has it that you scooped him up from his shame spiral—”

“Alright, we’ll be showing ourselves out then.”

-

“Do I dare ask?” Chanyeol asked after their second stroll of silence down to the main floor. Baekhyun hadn’t done so much as look at the male since the minor incident in the ward, and he was having an even harder time listening to Chanyeol’s questions. “They all seem a bit reluctant to accept me, and I don’t think they’re comfortable with me. Am I going to be a problem?”

Baekhyun shook his head. “No, they really like you.”

“That lady sounded like she wanted to rip my throat out.”

“She doesn’t. That’s just how she talks. It’s kinda like a defense mechanism.”

“And that guy in the cafeteria?”

“Douche! It’s that simple.” Baekhyun laughed and stopped. He turned on his heel to face the taller male. “I thought you said you trusted me.”

Chanyeol frowned. “What makes you think I don’t?”

“The fact that you’re having second thoughts. I promise you that you’ll have an amazing time here, no matter how weird the people are.”

“I’m not second guessing that I’ll have fun here. I just don’t want to intrude on your life and mess it up.”

Baekhyun wouldn’t have it. He grabbed Chanyeol’s wrist and began pulling him outside. “I’m the last person you should be worried about. Go home, rest, and we can start all over tomorrow.”

“All over? I’m a patient man but I don’t think I have enough patience to discuss her again.”

“Just go.” Baekhyun set him free on the sidewalk in front of the hospital. “Meet me at your garden tomorrow morning, say 9 a.m.?”

In all honesty, Chanyeol would’ve preferred not going back there, given the recent events, but it wasn’t just about him anymore. There was Baekhyun and a few dozens of kids depending on him, so there was no way he could put his bad memories before them. Besides, the whole point of what they were going to do was to scare away just that, and though Chanyeol couldn’t really see how it’d happen at that moment, he was sure that Baekhyun would find a way to make it happen.

“Sounds perfect.”

-

Waking up in general was always an easy task for Baekhyun, but he felt like he hadn’t even blinked when his internal alarm went off and he peeled himself out of bed to get ready for the day ahead of him. Excitement coursed through his veins, but he was not too short of fear either, considering that he was going to meet up with somebody he had secretly admired for so long. Dreams this big were hardly ever supposed to come true.

Baekhyun pranced all around and out of his studio by 8:00 with his camera in hand. Being punctual was in his DNA.

-

By the time Baekhyun arrived, there was already a long line outside the gate, as he had expected. It was such a hassle to get in when people were this crazy, and the line wasn’t getting any shorter. Each person who filed in behind him was a goosebump building up on his skin, for amongst the people, Chanyeol was nowhere to be seen. The minutes ticked toward 8:30, then 8:45, and finally 9:00, and that was when Baekhyun willed himself to accept that it was too good to be true. Not that he was excited to see Chanyeol again or anything.

He stepped out of line to let others pass him by. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to check for any missed calls or messages, but it dawned on him that he and Chanyeol didn’t exchange numbers. The morning just kept getting worse, and staying there wasn’t going to make it better. Baekhyun chuckled bitterly to himself, sighed, and then whispered, “What an idiot.”

_“Who is?”_

Baekhyun whipped his head back. There he was, Chanyeol, carefully hovering over him with a dopey smile lighting up the better half of his face. He was breathing rather roughly, his chest heaving in perfect harmony with each inhale and exhale.

“I-I was just saying—”

“Sorry I’m late, by the way. Overslept.”

“Yeah, I see,” Baekhyun managed to slip after a few seconds, and he really could. A splotch of toothpaste stained the left corner of Chanyeol’s lips, and Baekhyun reckoned he had no idea, what with being in such a rush and all. He felt that it was partially his fault for asking to meet so early. Without thinking much of the action, Baekhyun reached up and wiped the excess off. “You had something right there.”

Chanyeol pulled up the collar of his shirt and wiped at the area where Baekhyun’s thumb grazed. “Ah, here? Thanks.” He dabbed at nothing before looking down. “You ready to snap some pictures?”

“I don’t think we’re gonna get in soon enough.” Baekhyun craned his neck to look at the line, which extended beyond his eyes. He frowned, and that made Chanyeol frown.

“Um, I don’t meant to burst your little pessimistic bubble, but just a reminder that I do own this place, meaning—” He leaned in close to Baekhyun’s ear. “—I don’t have to wait in line to get in.”

-

Before they explored the garden, Chanyeol took Baekhyun to the floral house. It was fairly dark inside, for the windows were covered with black cloth as opposed to regular blinds or curtains. Baekhyun didn’t question it. He was sure that Chanyeol had a perfectly reasonable explanation for it, and it wasn’t much of his business.

He waited where Chanyeol had asked him to while he went around to unpin all the cloth from the walls and pile them up on a table next to the door. All the while, Baekhyun looked around where the light was hitting and soaked up what he saw.

Baekhyun was convinced that the floral house was just as big as the garden. The bouquet counter had an assortment of ribbons, stickers, bows, and glitter sitting around, waiting to be moved. Behind the counter hung a wall full of wrapping paper that ranged from solid colors to swirly designs to transparent with splashes of color. For whatever reason, that particular area of the floral house piqued his interest. 

The ceiling was a baby pink, a different color from the walls, and hanging down from it was a light shaped like one big lily, the petals extending toward the crease where the ceiling met the wall. Then, directly across from that was where the vases sat on shelves, and some sat inside what looked like a refrigerator. 

“Where are the flowers?” Baekhyun asked while turning to Chanyeol.

“Junmyeon’s bringing them in.”

“Oh.” He paused and gazed around some more. “It’s beautiful. I love the color of the wallpaper. It really brightens up the place.”

“Thank you. It’s my mother’s favorite color.”

Putting a break in between their tiring dialogue, Baekhyun took the time to study Chanyeol’s face and how dark his expression seemed. For something that was meant to sound sentimental, Chanyeol sounded rather indifferent to the subject of his mother. He moved elegantly between stations in the floral house and carried on with his work without letting so much as a drop of care tint his face, leading Baekhyun to conclude that Chanyeol probably didn’t have the most ideal relationship with his mother.

But he wasn’t going to pry, nor was he going to mention any of the thoughts racing in his mind. Baekhyun only wanted to focus on the flowers.

“However,” Chanyeol started, and in the process, startled Baekhyun, “I’m thinking about changing it. Maize would not have been my choice.”

“What would you have preferred then?”

“Mint. Just mint. It’d complement most of my flowers a lot better.”

Despite not knowing much about complementary colors, Baekhyun agreed that mint would’ve been a more pleasing color, although “maize” was not too bad. Either one gave the place a light mood.

Baekhyun was about to make another remark on the room when the back door they came through swung open, causing quite the commotion. He feared that somebody was trying to break into the shop for whatever reason, but Chanyeol seemed to know exactly what was going on when he left to check up on the man who was grunting his way in. Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he wanted to follow, so he didn’t.

Two minutes later, Chanyeol returned with a man about the same height as Baekhyun, give or take a few centimeters, carrying cardboard boxes that didn’t look as heavy as they probably were. “Here, let me help,” he offered quickly, but the only thing he got in return was a muffled “No!” and that was that.

The two males set their boxes on the bouquet counter with a sigh.

“Good work!” Chanyeol said.

“We’ve always been a good team,” the other assured before finally acknowledging Baekhyun’s presence with a twisted mien. “Who’s this?”

“Right! Junmyeon, Baekhyun. Baekhyun, Junmyeon.”

Baekhyun stuck out his right hand. “Pleased to meet you.”

“No, the pleasure's all mine,” Junmyeon said. “How do you know Yeollie-pop?”

“Yeollie-pop?” Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or pat Chanyeol on the head.

“It’s my nickname for him to remind him that I am older no matter what our height difference may say.” With that, Junmyeon nudged Chanyeol’s side. “You hear me?”

Chanyeol chuckled. “Yes I hear. We’ve really got to go though, so please take good care of the shop today.”

“Wow, that almost sounds like my job.”

Ignoring the sarcasm, Chanyeol took Baekhyun by the hand and left the floral house.

-

The path that they took didn’t lead to the garden. It took them around the back of the floral house and outside the gates. Baekhyun wanted to ask why, but trust went both ways, so if Chanyeol could trust him, Baekhyun thought it was only fair that he did the same. So, he followed quietly behind the taller male with small but swift strides until Chanyeol stopped.

“Is everything okay?” Baekhyun asked after they remained unmoving for a couple minutes.

Chanyeol turned around with his face contorted into an expression Baekhyun couldn’t put a label on. “Do you like lilies? Specifically, calla?”

“Yes. They’re actually my favorite.”

“Good,” Chanyeol muttered before he stepped to the side and let Baekhyun see what they had walked so far for. “Then this is yours to keep.”

Right before Baekhyun’s eyes was a small meadow with calla lilies planted everywhere. He could tell right away that Chanyeol had meant for it to be a very private area, for it was covered by both some fairly large trees and stashed far from the main attraction. A couple steps further down the meadow was a stream. “But why?”

“I was going to give it to her, but she hates callas. Besides, it obviously suits you more. Come whenever you want.” Breathing roughly, Chanyeol ran his hand through his hair, like he was letting off some steam that had been bottled up for an awfully long time. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought you here instead of the garden. I just figured you’ve been there a lot and you could use something new.”

“I-I don’t even know—”

‘Then don’t say anything. Just snap away.”

Until then, Baekhyun had forgotten why he and Chanyeol were there. Pictures, scrapbooks, the children—it all slipped his mind in the process. He grabbed his camera and fumbled around with it sloppily. As he adjusted the lenses, he pointed it in Chanyeol’s direction, and without warning, he took a picture. Baekhyun lowered his arms and checked the picture, but a low groaning distracted him.

He lifted his head up to see Chanyeol with his eyes clenched shut, his thumb and index finger softly kneading his eyelids. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“No you’re not...”

“My eyes just don’t do well with camera flashes. They’re, uh, sensitive to bright light.”

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

Chanyeol shook his head and opened his eyes again. He looked around a couple times. “No, it’s not your fault.”

“How do you go outside when the sun’s out or sit in your living room, or anything?” Baekhyun approached Chanyeol and stood on his toes, looking carefully into the other’s eyes. “They must burn all the time.”

“I don’t stare directly into the sun. I walk with my head tilted down. My lights at home are also dimmed.” He walked on down the path and stopped right on the riverside. “Don’t worry. Only certain things make it super awful and painful.”

“Like?”

“You ask a lot of questions.” Chanyeol turned around and smirked at Baekhyun, whose enlarged eyes were packed with anticipation. “Nothing makes them hurt more than tears.”

Baekhyun gasped quietly. For a second or two, he wondered if he should say something to comfort Chanyeol since he basically caused all of this and the stillness had become awkward, but he remembered what happened the last time he tried to say something easing and how much more awkward that was. Perhaps the silence would do them both some good.

-

Their entire surrounding was beyond still. Not even the water moved, and their hearts beaten far too quietly. They let their attention fall into the stream which flowed out of sight. Beyond the water, they didn’t see much else.

-

“You should start taking those pictures,” Chanyeol said, initiating the first sign of movement in ten seemingly long minutes.

As if he was being reeled back from another planet, Baekhyun sharply turned his head. “Ah, right. Pictures.” Then, he stepped away from Chanyeol’s side and carried himself to the flowers, where he began his routine.

Still standing on the riverside, Chanyeol watched Baekhyun keenly from over his shoulder. He noticed a hint of exquisiteness in the way Baekhyun worked, how he made it seem like he had a certain way of using his camera, when really, Chanyeol could tell that he didn’t just by the way he’d pause for long periods of time to find an angle that pleased him. He was gentle in his movements. Delicate, almost.

Chanyeol swore he had never seen someone so beautiful.

-

The following weekend, they chose to meet at the hospital by dawn. Baekhyun came up with the idea the day they visited the garden, just moments before they split ways, but he refused to tell Chanyeol their plans for the day, insisting that surprises were therapeutic for people experiencing heartbreak. That statement went unexplained.

At 5 a.m., Baekhyun made it to the hospital and decided to wait on the roof, somewhere near the edge and its railing. First, he set his camera to the side. He then looked out to where the sun was supposed to come up, soaking up all the warmth of the air around him. Though he was pleased to know he’d be seeing Chanyeol soon, having this time to himself was vital for the sake of his sanity. He gathered himself both mentally and emotionally every morning so that he could face the day bravely and not fall apart, no matter how tempting it seemed.

He finished these preparations not a moment too soon. Down below, Chanyeol had just parked his car and climbed out of it. He looked a little lost, and that was exactly how Baekhyun wanted him. Smiling, he called to him.

“Hey! Chanyeol, up here!” He waved his arms frantically. “Come up here!”

Baekhyun pushed himself off of the rails after seeing Chanyeol walk into the building and sprinted down the stairs to meet him halfway. He heard the sound of Chanyeol’s slow, heavy footsteps growing closer by the third flight he had flown down. He stopped and let the other make his way to him.

They came face to face, gradually pacing themselves until they were inhaling only each other’s scents.

“You came,” Baekhyun said.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I have come?”

With a shrug, Baekhyun went ahead and linked their arms. “I don’t know. Maybe because it’s like 5:30 in the morning and no normal person would be up at this time.”

“Lucky for you, I’m not normal.”

-

On the roof, they sat side by side with their feet dangling off the edge of the building. They held on tightly to the cold bar that kept them from plummeting down to their deaths. Occasionally, they’d stick their heads over the edge and look down at the rest of the world, but it didn’t happen often. Baekhyun could tell that it made Chanyeol nervous just being on the roof.

“If you just breathe, I promise it’ll make this less scary.”

Chanyeol wasn’t going to take that. “I’m not scared, Baekhyun.”

“You’re sure acting like you are.”

“I guess I’m just wondering what we’re doing here at such an unearthly hour. I know you said we’d be spending a lot of time here, but I thought you meant with the children.”

“We will be. But first, I wanted you to see the sunrise from up here.” Baekhyun bent over to the side where he dropped his camera earlier and picked it up. “We’re gonna take some more pictures though.”

“I’ve already seen more than enough sunrises to last a lifetime. What’s so special about this one?”

The question echoed in Baekhyun’s ears. He also wondered if there was anything more or less special about this sunrise, compared to the other ones that Chanyeol had claimed to see. His own experiences were always the same: serene, lovely, chilling. It wasn’t really his say when it came to Chanyeol. Only Chanyeol himself could decide what made this experience better, if it was. 

His attention went back to his camera. The sun was already beginning to peek out from behind the horizon and grace their morning with a glow. This was what he needed to capture.

“Have you ever stopped to think what makes your rising sun so new?” Chanyeol asked breathily when Baekhyun had already fully indulged himself in his photos.

Their eyes met, gradually, and Baekhyun knitted his eyebrows together in deep thought. “I-I haven’t, but I know it’s never the same.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

“Because when I watched it yesterday, you weren’t here with me.” Baekhyun tilted his head to the left and blinked innocently. He was just telling the truth. “Do you think that’s wrong?”

“No...I really don’t.”

Baekhyun went back to his camera feeling accomplished and a bit more intelligent, but he completely disregarded the possibility that his careless words might’ve meant something to the male sitting to his left.

-

It was only a matter of time before Chanyeol nodded off. Baekhyun slowly realized that when he bent down to change his film and heard a faint snore come from his companion whose entire body weight was concentrated on that one rail. The longer he stared, the worse he felt for making Chanyeol come out so early just for his own gain. 

Right as he was about to wake Chanyeol, an idea hit him that made him pull back his arm. The idea was rather insane and creepy, but he didn’t mind being caught in action if it meant that he’d get to keep the image of Chanyeol resting peacefully forever. Besides, after his reconciliation with his girlfriend, Baekhyun was sure that he’d be seeing very little of the man around Bijou and his life.

_Snap!_

Baekhyun was even kind enough to turn the flash off.

-

When Chanyeol woke up from what he thought was a quick nap, Baekhyun was gone, and so was his camera bag. The last thing he remembered was waiting for the sun, but now, it was already at its highest point in the sky, blinding him with each beam. How long had he been passed out?

“Baekhyun?” he called. Nobody answered. “Baekhyun, where are you?”

Chanyeol stood up from his spot, brushed off his behind, and began ambling around the roof in search of the petite male. The roof was so small that he didn’t have to circle very long or far to come to the conclusion that he was alone up there. He didn’t waste a single second; he flew back down the steps to Ward 6. He didn’t know if Baekhyun would be there but it was worth the try. At the very least, he needed to apologize for falling asleep.

As he sped down the several flights of stairs, he imagined how angry Baekhyun would be at him, and if he didn’t see an angry Baekhyun, he saw a crying one. There was no way he’d be able to forgive himself if he had offended the only person crazy enough to want to be his friend, or some derivative of that.

He carelessly turned at a corner into the hallway of the ward, his eyes centered on his feet rather than on where he was headed. He should’ve known he would run into something, or in this specific case, someone.

It was one big, messy accident.

Plates shattered; trays clattered; silverware chimed as they hit the floor and the drinks splattered everywhere. Someone groaned, and Chanyeol recognized the voice too clearly.

“Holy hell!” Chanyeol yelled when he saw Baekhyun lying on the ground next to a puddle of seafood soup. He bent down and picked the smaller male up. “I’m so sorry! I’m sorry I fell asleep and I’m sorry for getting you messy and I’m sorry I’m stupid and—”

“Chill! It’s fine! I was just grabbing us lunch since you fell asleep...”

“And I ruined that too!”

“Hey, I said it’s fine. I’m just gonna go get changed.”

“Where?”

Chanyeol looked Baekhyun up and down. There was rice in his hair and soup dripping down his face, and worst of all, there was chili paste sitting on his neck. With his trembling hand, he cleaned the smaller’s neck cautiously. He got through the first layer of paste without trouble, but Baekhyun’s skin was extremely red and irritated; he winced when Chanyeol blew cool air on it.

“This is no good. Let me get someone to help.”

“No, Chanyeol. For the last time, it’s fine. I’ll just put a cold patch over it. I have some spare clothes in the room. I’ll be right back.” Peeling off Chanyeol’s hand, he limped away.

-

The moment Baekhyun stepped into the room, all eyes were on him. He heard plenty of chuckles, mostly from the children, but Kyungsoo’s distinct laugh called to Baekhyun immediately. 

“Shut up and give me some clothes,” Baekhyun sternly stated as he rid himself of his drenched shirt and walked through the small opening in the wall where the back room of the ward was. 

Kyungsoo barged in after him. “What happened?!”

“I may have run into a wall of some sort.”

“Or?”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows. “How the hell did you know?”

“You kinda put two and two together when you see a tray fly up in the air.” Kyungsoo shrugged and chuckled. It was only after Baekhyun threw a shoe at his chest that he stopped to rummage through the back room for the best outfit he had stashed there.

-

The clothes were a little too tight and they made Baekhyun’s body itch, but something was better than his soaked clothes from earlier. He was grateful to Kyungsoo, of course, until he fell into a laughing fit again at how awkward Baekhyun looked, and when that happened, the latter just left the ward without looking back.

He expected to see Chanyeol still in the hallway with that sad puppy face he had been getting pretty good at making, and he prepared himself for another long apology, just in case Chanyeol wasn’t feeling sorry enough. Yet, when he stepped out into the dim corridor, his expectations were not met, and he couldn’t help but feel a little let down. Baekhyun sighed, pressing himself up against the wall closest to the doors. 

While he stood there with this touch of disappointment tinging him, he wondered if letting Chanyeol into his life was a bad decision. He didn’t worry as much about Chanyeol having a negative effect on him as much as he worried about it being the other way around. There were times when even Baekhyun was bored with himself; how could another person not be? The plan was to have Chanyeol hang around with Baekhyun and the Bijou community to help him heal and move on from the “unfortunate incident,” as the former liked to refer to it as, though Baekhyun was beginning to doubt the success of his idea. 

Chanyeol was obviously still thinking about Chohee, and Baekhyun wasn’t certain how he should react to the fact that he had to witness Chanyeol crying and calling for his girlfriend, even if it was just in his dream. Baekhyun didn’t want to be the one to tell him that he couldn’t do so much as think about her; maybe he shouldn’t have told Chanyeol to do anything at all from the start.

He had made up his mind, to tell Chanyeol that they could no longer carry out the plan, when he saw Chanyeol (no one else in the hospital was _that_ tall) in his peripheral view.

“You did not,” Baekhyun muttered.

“I felt bad.”

“You didn’t have to do this.” Baekhyun relieved Chanyeol of the second tray he was bringing over. “And you didn’t have to get so much.”

“I felt—”

“Bad, yes I know. We can take this up to the roof if you don’t mind.” They walked upstairs together heedfully so that they wouldn’t trip and repeat history. Neither of them wanted to go back down to the cafeteria. 

Baekhyun set up lunch where they sat that morning, though he made sure not to place everything so close to the edge. The variety was limited, as always, and the food didn’t look the least bit appetizing. Just looking at it made Baekhyun groan in anxiety of eating another cardboard meal, but Chanyeol seemed quite thrilled.

“So, what kind of food do you like?” Baekhyun asked while he put out the last dish. He handed Chanyeol a pair of chopsticks, then slid him the bowl with more rice. “I like any kind of noodles.”

“I do too,” Chanyeol replied, bringing the food up to his nose for a whiff. “I like rice too. I eat it with any and everything.” He shoved a chopstick full of rice into his mouth, then two more although he hadn’t even swallowed the first one yet. “Is there anything else you like?” Chanyeol questioned, reaching for the kimchi.

Baekhyun nudged the plate closer to him as he answered. “I love beef. My husband used to make this amazing lemon beef dish every week for our family dinner.”

“Wait, did you just say ‘husband?’”

A dry lump was suddenly lodged in Baekhyun’s throat, hindering him from answering the inquiry. He couldn’t look at Chanyeol. In fact, his limbs swelled into a numb state and he was completely paralyzed. The embarrassment he felt was indescribable. Overwhelming. It wasn’t just embarrassment though; it was pain. His blush burned; sweat beaded around his eyes. After stalling this long, he still couldn’t muster up the courage to speak. The words in his mind were too much to voice out.

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol finally said. “It’s not my place to ask, or make you uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s not you. We are not so different, Chanyeol, when it comes to love.”

“Why do you say that?”

“We both know what it feels like to have the loves of our lives slip right through our fingers. But the biggest difference is, when this is all done and over with, you get to go back to her, and he...he’s still going to be dead.”

Chanyeol’s chopsticks fell with a dull thud. His lips, pried slightly open, quivered with the intensity of an earthquake. “I’m so sorry. And before you tell me that it’s okay, it really isn’t. You shouldn’t have to deal with my problems on top of all your own.”

“Three years. It’s about time I find something else to think of.”

Though he didn’t quite agree, Chanyeol nodded understandingly, and setting his bowl aside, he scooted closer to Baekhyun. He didn’t think it was appropriate to make his next move, but after hearing Baekhyun sniffle, he wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him into the curve of his torso. “It’ll get better if you’re patient,” he murmured, giving Baekhyun a shake. “Don’t give up hope yet.”

Baekhyun grinned. He didn’t know hearing his own words used against him could make him so happy.

-

One of the worst things about being a photographer was the incessant need to always be taking pictures.

That’s why Baekhyun completely froze up when Chanyeol suggested that they leave the camera at the hospital while they went on a two-hour vacation. Stupefied, he couldn’t respond with a coherent sentence, and he thought that Chanyeol would’ve taken this as a clue. Well, he didn’t.

He ended up prying the camera out of Baekhyun’s cold little hands with impressive force and handing it to the receptionist sitting at the front counter, sealing their one-sided deal with a wink. Then, he dragged Baekhyun out to his car.

“I can’t go anywhere without my camera!” Baekhyun kept shouting, sometimes into the void of air around him, but mostly in Chanyeol’s ear as he turned around multiple times, trying to escape the firm grip that Chanyeol had on him. He found it hard to believe that he was being held down with just one arm.

“I promise that you don’t need it, Baekhyun.”

“Yes I do! How will I take pictures? The whole point of us going places and doing things together is to get photos for the scrapbooks, _which,_ if I may remind you, need to be done by Friday!”

“For a tiny little guy, you are very stubborn and strong.” In one swift motion, Chanyeol swung open his passenger side door, and in another, he stuffed Baekhyun inside.

He had to sprint to the driver’s side to make sure that Baekhyun couldn’t get away. Oddly enough, the latter ended up complying to all the orders he was given (sit tight, buckle up, don’t cry, etc.) without saying a single thing to retaliate. Chanyeol didn’t trouble himself with the pouting anyhow; he knew all would be well within an hour.

-

They drove into a small town that Baekhyun knew the name of but had never stepped foot in. It wasn’t popular amongst the residents or tourists, for it had the least amount of attractions. If and when people made a stop, it was only for one particular shop that Baekhyun was familiar with; he just didn’t know it yet.

Baekhyun’s mind was still on his precious camera, and it made him both anxious and angry knowing that it was back home. His hands moved on his lap as though they were handling the device, and it finally occurred to him how serious his addiction was. No matter how much he wanted to channel all his emotions onto Chanyeol, since he pretty much caused the frenzy of stress coursing through Baekhyun, he didn’t dare to even think about ruining their plans. He just let Chanyeol lead the way as he pleased.

After they parked in a cramped garage and Chanyeol helped Baekhyun out of the car, they strolled down an almost vacant street, where not even a gust of wind was present amongst them. Baekhyun was frightened, and he reckoned he looked it too because Chanyeol took him under one arm as if to guide him, all the way until they reached an decent-sized shop.

The windows were plastered with floral stickers of several colors and shades. However, Baekhyun’s attention could not be drawn from the lower right-hand corner of the glass. The characters written there were hard to read—it looked like someone had smudged them—but straining both his neck and his eyes, Baekhyun made out the three characters to the best of his ability.

“Park...Chan...Yeol?” Baekhyun enunciated with his head tilted to the left. “Is this another one of yours?”

Chanyeol opened the door for Baekhyun. “Go on,” he said, encouraging the other to enter first, which he did, and as the entry bell rang, a woman with short black hair glided into the room from an opening in the wall.

“Why hello there,” she said calmly. Her voice was a sweet melody, and her face was just as pleasant. “What can I help you handsome fellas with?”

Baekhyun looked to Chanyeol to reply to this. “Could you go get that package I ordered?” he asked warmly.

The lady said no more, doing just as she was told by presumably her boss. A minute later, she returned to the room with a box in her frail hands. She handed it to Chanyeol, who took it kindly and then handed it off to Baekhyun.

“Me?”

Chanyeol snickered. “Yes, you. Open it.”

Unsure at first, Baekhyun made no sudden movements, like he was an animal being watched by a hunter who could pull the trigger at any moment. It’d only been a week and a half, and Chanyeol was already getting gifts? It wasn’t right. He couldn’t accept it, especially since he didn’t have anything to give back.

He tried shoving it back into Chanyeol’s arms. “I can’t take this,” he murmured as soon as he felt Chanyeol take hold of his wrist.

“What? Why not? You don’t even know what’s in there yet.”

“I don’t need to know. The fact that it’s a gift assures me that I shouldn’t take it.”

“But that’s the point of a gift.”

“It’s only been two weeks.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Chanyeol asked firmly, the texture of his voice turning into something completely different than what Baekhyun had become used to hearing.

“I just mean that you should not be buying me things, especially if it’s because you pity me or you feel that you owe me anything, or—”

“Baekhyun, will you please just open it?”

This time, Chanyeol placed his hand underneath Baekhyun’s and balanced the box in his palm. It wasn’t until Baekhyun surrendered and removed the lid that Chanyeol cracked a smile, for he knew that in no time at all, Baekhyun would be joining him.

“Is this what I think it is?” the smaller stuttered.

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol answered, smirking. “What do you think it is?”

“Why would you get me something so big?” Baekhyun pulled out the brand new camera, wrapped in a soft cloth, and rotated it so that he could see all its sides. “It’s so beautiful though. How much was it?”

“That’s between me, the store clerk I bought this from, and my mother.” Turning his head, Chanyeol gestured to the woman, who came in short strides until she stood beside the two youngsters.

Lost in a whirlpool of shock, Baekhyun stared keenly into the depths of her beauty. It didn’t come as a shock to him that Chanyeol was so handsome anymore, given his mother’s looks. The gene was clearly dominant. Nevertheless, the most distracting quality turned out to be her eyes. That was typically the first thing Baekhyun noticed about anybody, and from a quick glance alone, he could tell she had more wisdom than anybody he had ever known. He shook his head in wonderment.

For once, he really didn’t have anything to say. “Hello, Mrs. Park,” he hummed, bowing at a perfect 90-degree angle.

“It’s actually ‘Ms.’ but—”

Chanyeol cleared his throat irritatedly. “Mother, please.”

She smiled, turning her head upward to face her son. “Oh, come on sweetheart. I’m just letting him know the correct term.”

“It’s fine,” Baekhyun said, trying to break the minor tension. “Ms. Park, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise. How did you and Chanyeol meet? He told me very little about you when he asked me to pick up the gift.”

“We met, well...I ran into him and his girlfriend at the garden.”

“Baekhyun, you don’t have to lie to her. I’ve been meaning to tell you, Ma.” Chanyeol swathed his mother in one arm and pressed his body up against hers. “Chohee and I aren’t exactly together anymore, and Baekhyun is helping me deal with it.”

Ms. Park frowned, putting some distance between herself and Chanyeol. She didn’t say anything for a moment and kept her gape pointed down at the ground.

“Ma?”

“Chanyeol, what happened? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“It wasn’t something I could just call and talk to you about.”

“And why not? Am I not your mother? These are things we promised we would share with one another.”

Baekhyun worked on tuning out the rest of their dispute. He figured that any and everything they could possibly say about Chanyeol’s situation would be something he already knew. Besides, he was distracted by something else. The way the two of them bickered was unlike any other way Baekhyun had seen before. Their faces were not the slightest bit contorted, and their voices were softer than whispers.

Periodically, Chanyeol would turn to Baekhyun and give him this helpless look that made him look like a puppy. Baekhyun wished he could help, but he was already doing all that he was capable of. In response to the silent cry for help, he simply nodded, urging Chanyeol to really listen to what his mother had to say.

“But Baekhyun,” Ms. Park then uttered, showing him a pained mien. “Thank you so much for doing this. He may be a little stubborn, and even stupid, at times, but keep in mind that he only opens up his heart to people he trusts.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“And I guarantee that I will be able to answer any questions you may have. After all, who will know my son better than I?”

“That’s true, ma’am.”

Chanyeol disagreed though. “You’d be surprised at all the things you _don’t_ know, Ma.”

-

The youngsters stuck around for a couple hours and helped Ms. Park do some work in the shop. Baekhyun offered to carry some boxes into the storage room, but Chanyeol frowned and told him to stay with his mother instead. Fortunately, Baekhyun wasn’t of argumentative nature and obeyed easily, but this very fact made Ms. Park suspicious of his character.

She waited for Chanyeol to leave before she did as much as think about her skepticism. She had no worries about Baekhyun being a threat to her son; just by looking at him, she knew he was harmless. But there was stardust in his eyes as he guided Chanyeol’s departure from the room—and something else.

“Baekhyun?” she murmured gently.

He whipped his head toward her immediately. “Yes, Ms. Park?”

With a grin, she beckoned for him to come closer. “Tell me something. Are you very fond of Chanyeol?”

“What?” Baekhyun yelped, panicked. “I-I think he’s a good person, and he’s—Ms. Park, he’s intelligent, but I don’t think it’s accurate to say...” His voice trailed off when he saw her chuckling. “Why are you—”

“Child, I plainly asked if you were fond of my son, not if you were in love with him.”

-

On the way home, Baekhyun kept to himself. He hadn’t realized how still it was in the car until Chanyeol turned on the radio, but even then it was relatively quiet. Baekhyun found it odd, given that he always had something to say or talk to the other about, even if all he ever asked or made comments about was the garden.

It wasn’t that he didn’t have anything to bring up. Quite frankly, he had plenty of questions to ask, but because he couldn’t sort out his inquiries in a way that’d be convenient or clear, he had to keep himself from speaking up. His hands tightened their grip on the box he set in his lap, the one with the camera in there, and he went on with his lips sealed shut. Baekhyun leaned on the door.

Chanyeol looked over briefly when he heard the thump Baekhyun’s body made. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Baekhyun smiled and sat up straight in his seat. “I’m positive. All’s well on this side of the car.” 

Then, all traces of his smile vanished, and Chanyeol could tell from the corner of his eye that the little guy was troubled. “If all your musings are this depressing, maybe you shouldn’t think anymore.” Chanyeol paused to give the other a chance to speak his mind, only it struck him that he had never given Baekhyun the assurance that they could talk about anything. “You know, I’m pretty good at keeping secrets. You can tell me stuff, and I won’t tell anyone else.”

“Wow, you’re quite the pro then, aren’t you?” They laughed in unison. Baekhyun had forgotten that he this side to him, and he had to admit, it felt good to get in touch with it again. “I know that you’re a safe space, but I don’t think you’d be willing to discuss what I want to.”

“Try me, Byun Baekhyun.”

And so he did. “I...want to know more about you.”

That did the trick and shut Chanyeol up for a good while. Baekhyun anticipated something, anything. 

“Well that—I’m afraid that isn’t a very interesting topic,” Chanyeol said, clearing his throat.

“It is for me. I’ve told you a lot about myself already, but I don’t know much about you, other than what I’ve assumed.” Baekhyun’s gaze softened while he waited for Chanyeol to say something. He thought it’d help some if he didn’t break the connection of his gawk, but it only made Chanyeol pull away even more. And Baekhyun wasn’t going to push for answers if it made the other _this_ uneasy.

Mindlessly, he unbuckled himself in order to have more freedom to fold up and sleep the rest of the way home. Just as he was beginning to bring his legs up to his chest, Chanyeol stopped him, leaving Baekhyun to stare with a blank face and much disbelief that Chanyeol’s eyes could have such a stupefying effect on him. 

Then, he spoke in a low whisper that chilled Baekhyun to the bone. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

“R-really?”

“Yes, so shoot. Before I change my mind.”

“Okay, um, I guess to begin with, your parents? What’s their relationship with one another, because she seemed offended when I called her ‘Mrs.’ earlier.”

Chanyeol snorted. “Don’t mind her. She’s still bitter about the divorce because he left her for a younger woman.”

“Are you okay?”

“It happened over ten years ago, Baekhyun. I think I’ll live.”

With a nod, Baekhyun took in a breath and let it out slowly. “You and Chohee, was your mother really supportive of that? I think she was sadder than you.”

“She...” Chanyeol stopped and laughed.

“What?”

“My mother really loves Chohee like she’s her daughter. In fact, she is the reason Chohee and I began dating in the first place.”

“So I see.” The thought of Chanyeol’s relationship beginning only due to his mother made Baekhyun wonder if there was any correlation to the end of it. He didn’t want to say anything that could come off as insulting while they were still in the car and he had nowhere to run, so he kept to himself and moved on to his next inquiry. “Do you keep in touch with your father at all?”

The way Chanyeol shifted spoke for itself, but still, he muttered, “No, that man is dead to me. I don’t want to have anything to do with him.”

“Why not?”

“Baekhyun, with all due respect, I think you’ve asked enough questions in one sitting. Can you just buckle up and tell me where to drop you off?”

It didn’t seem like he had asked very much at all, but Baekhyun could detect a sign of annoyance in the underlying tone of the other’s words, and he didn’t want to contribute more than he already had to that. “The hospital, please.”

“Ah, if that’s so, then may I join you?”

“I think you should head home and relax for the rest of the night.”

“Honestly, I’m not that tired.”

The claim would’ve been more believable had Chanyeol not yawned right after making it. “I don’t want to keep you. Besides, you must have other things to tend to.”

Chanyeol thought long and hard about whether or not he had other plans. He had been spending so much time with Baekhyun, it was as though all his normal activities didn’t even exist anymore. Every second of every day for the past two weeks, the only person that he thought of to be important was Baekhyun.

Even so, he didn’t mind so much. Baekhyun was the best company he had had in a long while, and he wasn’t quite ready to lose that. Living alone was too lonely.

By the time they arrived at the hospital, Chanyeol still hadn’t made up his mind, and as soon as he parked the car, Baekhyun jumped out without so much as a “goodbye.” Chanyeol had no choice but to take that as a hint: He wasn’t wanted nor was he needed around. When he saw to it that Baekhyun was safe inside, he sped off into the darkness.

The sun hadn’t even set yet.

-

Baekhyun paced his way up to the ward. He needed to see Kyungsoo and attempt to talk through the sensation settling in his chest, which pulled without rest. He had nobody else he could confide in, at least not with something this big. The only thing he could do was hope with all his heart that his friend did not leave already.

Right outside the ward’s door was as far as he made it. His legs stopped moving, through no fault of his own. He just didn’t want to wake the children, which was lucky for him, because the doors fanned out and revealed both Kyungsoo and Jongin. The more ears, the more feedback, the better.

“Kyung!” Baekhyun yelled, startling the two men who came ambling hand in hand. 

“What the hell?” Kyungsoo cried, nearly punching his best friend in the stomach. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Out...”

“Oh wonderful! ‘Out’ you say? Why didn’t any of us think to check there?” The frown on Kyungsoo’s baby face was no joke. Another second more, and his head could’ve been easily mistaken for a steaming hot teapot.

Jongin, being well aware of this, nudged the small brunet and kissed the top of his head. “Babe, calm down and let him explain, which I’m sure he will. I won’t have you exploding until I marry you.”

“Okay, gross.” Baekhyun groaned and pulled his friends to the far end of the hall where a lounge area was, right beside the ceiling-to-floor windows that had a perfect view of the city’s finest lights.

The three of them sat in the chairs closest to the window. Baekhyun occupied a one-seater; the couple took the loveseat.

“Baek, what is this?” Kyungsoo asked, more patient than before. He even leaned over to touch the elder’s cold hand, which he distinctly recalled to be a lot warmer, and that worried him even more. “Okay, you’re scaring me now.”

“I-I’ve got to tell you something. It’s wrong, but I don’t...know anymore.”

“What’s going on?”

Shaking his head, Baekhyun spoke in a shattered voice. “I think— _no,_ I-I have feelings for Chanyeol.”

“What?!” the couple shouted in unison.

“Baekhyun, no!” Kyungsoo then bellowed, standing up from his seat to make his point clearer and more dramatic. “You can’t! Please tell me you are joking! This is some sick joke!”

“I’m really not joking.” Biting his lip, Baekhyun looked down at the ground. He prayed that it’d decay and swallow his entire body whole so that he could escape the judgmental glares his friends were giving him.

Jongin got up from his seat as well, though for a completely different reason from his fiancé. He planted a peck on Kyungsoo’s lips and lifted his stare by his chin. “I’m going to leave you two to talk. I’ll bring up coffee and dinner in 30.”

“Thank you sweetie.” Then he was gone. Kyungsoo turned back to his best friend. Sighing, he got down on his knees and sat in front of him. He always did this so that Baekhyun would have no choice but to look at him. “What happened to only helping him out until his girl makes up her mind, Baek?”

“I truly don’t know.” Baekhyun buried his face in his hands. “What am I gonna do?”

“For starters, you can tell me how you came to this terrible conclusion. Something must’ve prompted it.”

In all honesty, Baekhyun didn’t know for himself either. There was the time when they went to the calla lily garden, and even though he didn’t notice it before, Baekhyun was quickly registering that it had been the first gift Chanyeol gave him, not the camera, and at the time, Baekhyun could’ve sworn there was a tug in his chest, though he wound up ignoring it. There was also the time when they were supposed to watch the sunrise, but Chanyeol fell fast asleep, so Baekhyun decided to watch him instead, and a pang hit him in the heart. By sheer nature, he ended up dismissing that too.

And then there was the most recent incident, about four hours ago, when he was with Chanyeol’s mother and she said a lot more than what Baekhyun could retain. However, he couldn’t shake the feeling that socked him in the gut when they finished talking, and that was what he decided would be the best to tell about, just because her words haunted him, and he needed somebody to share them with.

“So, I met his mother today.”

“Already?!”

“Calm down and let me finish!” Kyungsoo apologized and sealed his lips shut; Baekhyun proceeded. “She asked me if I’m fond of Chanyeol, and I guess the way I reacted intrigued her. She said some things to me—”

“Like what?” the other blurted.

Baekhyun hesitated. “She said that her son’s happiness matters more than anything in the world. She mentioned something about knowing his likes and dislikes, and then she...”

“What did she say?”

“ ‘And from the looks of it, I think I know yours too.’ ”

Kyungsoo frowned as soon as Baekhyun said the last word. “Is that an exact quote?” After he saw Baekhyun bob his head, he threw his own back. “Oh my God, I can’t believe you.”

“Me? What did I do?”

“I think the question here is what did you say?”

Titling his head to one side, Baekhyun thought very keenly about the conversation. “I told her that I don’t make an effort to hide things like that, because some people deserve a straight answer.”

“And then?”

“Chanyeol walked in, and she stopped talking.”

Wasting no time in smearing the reality in his best friend’s face, Kyungsoo began his rant. “You’ve only known each other for about two weeks, give or take a few days. Baekhyun, it’s impossible to feel these things in such a short amount of time.”

“What about love at first sight then? Explain that to me.”

“I don’t believe in it, so I can’t explain it to you!”

Nothing made Baekhyun feel worse than knowing that his own best friend didn’t support him, not that he was expecting some sugar-coated, cliché comment about how this was going to make history, or that it had been written in the stars from the start, but some level of understanding and compassion couldn’t kill him.

“Baekhyun,” the younger male murmured, “He has a girlfriend. He wanted, and more than likely still wants, a life with her. If he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, you will go through hell.”

“I’m not saying—”

Holding one hand up in the air, Kyungsoo cut Baekhyun off again for the umpteenth time in that one session. “You need to stop, suppress any and everything you have piled up in that heart of yours. Things may seem right at the moment, but in another two or three weeks, he’s gonna be gone, and it’ll be as though you never existed in his life. He’ll be happy.”

Up until then, Baekhyun hadn’t even considered the possibility that it could all end and feel like it had never even begun. What reason did Chanyeol have to keep someone as irrelevant as Baekhyun in his life, after he had served his purpose of kissing the boo-boos away? It just didn’t make sense—and neither did he and Chanyeol.

For once, he saw things in Kyungsoo’s light, and as much as he despised to admit it, he knew deep down that his best friend was, without a doubt, correct.

-

Friday had come too soon, but between the day of his embarrassing confession to Kyungsoo and that Friday, Baekhyun made sure he didn’t contact Chanyeol unless it was absolutely necessary. He didn’t want to lead himself on, but he also couldn’t fully ignore Chanyeol, for if he did, there’d be too many suspicions, too many questions he probably couldn’t make up an answer to right off the bat. It wasn’t the most simple challenge he had ever undergone, but Kyungsoo had convinced him that it’d help reduce the intensity of his feelings if he also made a reduction in the amount of times he saw Chanyeol in a week, though at some point, Kyungsoo also tried to convince him that all his feelings were fake. Baekhyun ended up more confused, more than anything else, but what made it worse was how wrong those claims were.

-

Chanyeol showed up around 8:30 in the morning, after a thousand wrong turns onto the wrong streets in the wrong neighborhood. He had never seen this part of town before and he always assumed Baekhyun lived at the hospital, for whatever reason that suited him. Anyhow, he loved the privateness of Baekhyun’s place and entered excitedly.

“Welcome to my very messy home,” Baekhyun announced as they walked through the clear opening. “There isn’t much to see, so for that, I apologize.”

“Nope, you’re all good. So what exactly are we doing today?”

“Developing two rolls of photos, then making the scrapbooks. This month is the black and white special.” Baekhyun kept on ambling in a lazy manner, through a corridor and down two flights of stairs, until he came to a black door with no handle. Chanyeol wondered how they’d get through, since Baekhyun was quite determined to advance forward, and then the short male slid the door open and took Chanyeol by the hand, leading them into a significantly darker room.

“Baekhyun?” he called out, gripping on even tighter to the hand that was guiding him, as if it’d disappear if he didn’t.

“You’re fine, you big baby,” Baekhyun said with a giggle. “Just a couple...steps...more... _there._ ”

With a _click!_ and a series of red lights coming on, Chanyeol could finally see where they were. In a room where pictures hung from long lines that adorned the ceiling and were pinned on large-scale corkboards, Chanyeol deduced that this could only be Baekhyun’s darkroom.

“Amazing! I have never been in one of these before, but I always see them in movies, and they’re rarely ever this neat.”

Baekhyun grinned and opened lightly and opened up a drawer next to the sink. He pulled out the camera that he had been using to take pictures the entire two weeks prior, and then in a cupboard above that drawer, he retrieved the camera Chanyeol had bought him. It had only been a couple days, but he already used up an entire roll for that camera alone.

“So, how can I help?” Chanyeol looked around helplessly. “If you haven’t noticed yet, I have no idea what I can do without ruining everything.”

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to wash your hands, right?”

“No, I guess not.” With that, Chanyeol turned to the faucet and lifted the lever, twisting it from left to right until he found a suitable temperature for himself. He rubbed his hands back and forth, watching the water fall down the drain in lone drops, until he snapped out of his trance and shut the faucet. “And now what?”

Already occupied with a task, Baekhyun failed to hear the question. He didn’t even look up from the camera in his hands. He popped out the film and moved on with his process, leaving a completely clueless Chanyeol in the dark, and it could not have been more literal.

“Baek, do you need help?”

Upon hearing Chanyeol call him by his nickname for the first time ever, Baekhyun finally looked at him. “Right, I do. Could you grab my pliers and scissors on that tray? It’s right by the big shelf.”

Chanyeol complied instantly and began the search for the tools, which he found in less than ten seconds. It was good to know that his first job in the darkroom was something he couldn’t necessarily mess up. He brought the pliers and scissors back over to Baekhyun swiftly, holding his hand out for him to take. “Here you go. Is there anything else you need?”

“No, it’s okay. Just give me the—”

Their hands brushed against one another’s in the exchange, sending a chill through each of their bodies. Chanyeol had that childlike look on his face, the one that he wore the first day they met; Baekhyun, on the other hand, flushed red and lost his train of thought. Instead, he began to ponder over the fact that this wasn’t even the first time they’d made skin contact, yet it felt like it was. It got so quiet that they couldn’t even clear their throats properly.

“I need the, um, the pliers now,” Baekhyun ultimately said, snatching the tool away.

He turned around and began to fumble with his delicate items again, trying to the best of his ability to shrug off the vibe living in his fingertips. It was too much within him, and if he didn’t at least attempt to fight it, it’d consume him whole. There’d be no greater distraction, Baekhyun thought, than getting lost in art. “Chanyeol, do you want to learn how to develop the photos?”

“Oh, sure. Thanks.” The taller male moved beside Baekhyun and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Show me how you do, Mr. Expert.”

Baekhyun released a stifled moan, forcing himself to carry on normally. “You’ll want to trim off the tongue of the film first, like this.” He demonstrated with the first roll and held it up proudly. He picked up the other canister, prepared it for Chanyeol, and was about to pivot on his heel to give the film and scissors to Chanyeol when a pair of arms reached out from his waist, forcing Baekhyun to hold his breath. He dropped the items into Chanyeol’s hands, and not a moment too soon, for the second he felt the broad chest of his companion against his back, his knees nearly gave out, and he became a trembling mess. He had to shut his eyes.

The snip of the film’s tongue should’ve been enough to drag Chanyeol away so that Baekhyun could go on with teaching, but he remained unmoving. “What now?”

“You load—the spiral, load the film onto the spiral like this.” Baekhyun made it seem like he was going to show how to do the next step he had just mentioned, what with the roll in hand and his attention diverted in the direction of the supposed “spiral,” but he froze.

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol leaned down closer, his lips resting on the smaller’s right shoulder. “You’re not showing me.”

“I-I can’t,” Baekhyun sighed.

And then Chanyeol moved his lips up along Baekhyun’s neckline, carefully caressing his smooth skin with his kisses. Each time that he heard Baekhyun breathe, it encouraged him to make his pecks last a little longer. Chanyeol swaddled the other’s waist with his long arms and then, when his lips finished their journey along the path from Baekhyun’s shoulder to his jawline, Chanyeol turned him so that they’d be facing each other, and without so much as a warning, he attacked the shorter man’s lips.

It started off tenderly. Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun as far into his chest as possible, then coaxed him into tying his arms into a knot around Chanyeol’s neck, which brought them even closer together. In due course, he couldn’t help himself and lifted Baekhyun off his feet, and held him there.

All the control that Baekhyun had built up came crumbling down as he submitted himself to Chanyeol. It was so beautiful, being under his clasp, for it was the safest that Baekhyun had felt in so long. The eternal misery that was sure to come would be worth it, he decided in the middle of kiss, just as long as he could cherish this experience. 

However, when he could no longer breathe, Baekhyun stopped, putting an arm’s length between himself and Chanyeol. “We-we can’t.”

“But we did.”

“Yeah, I know, but we shouldn’t have!”

“I enjoyed it though!”

“I did too! Every bit as much as you did, but your girlfriend?”

Chanyeol shook his head. “This doesn’t concern her in the least bit. This is about you and me. Us, Baekhyun.”

“You still love her?”

Though it took a while, Chanyeol eventually nodded. 

“That’s what I thought.” Baekhyun swallowed the lump in his throat. “Do you...love me?”

It took Chanyeol even longer to respond to that question, and after it seemed like he’d never say anything, Baekhyun turned away. “I understand. That was a stupid question.”

“What?! No, Baekhyun! I-I definitely feel something for you but, I have no idea what it is.” Chanyeol approached him and touched his cheek with the back of his hand. “What do you feel?”

“Regret. And self-hate.”

“Why?”

“Because we just...and you’ve asked somebody else for her hand in marriage. It isn’t right.”

“Then why did it feel right?”

Baekhyun emitted a heavy breath. “It doesn’t matter what it felt like, Chanyeol. What matters is that you belong to someone else, and I have no business getting in the middle of that.”

“But Baek—”

“Come on, let’s finish up and get to Bijou. I’m sure that the kids are waiting.”

That was the end of it. Conversation killers couldn’t get much better than that.

-

The most accurate word to describe the silence in the car ride to the hospital was “off-putting,” and it only seemed right that they should be that uncomfortable after what happened. Baekhyun never looked at Chanyeol, and vice versa, though Chanyeol’s urges to sneak a glance at the man sitting in the passenger seat gradually spiraled out of control, he was peeking out of the corner of his eyes so as not to make it too obvious. 

They made it to their destination about a quarter after two. When Chanyeol parked the car, neither of them budged from their seats. It was a game of who could sit the longest without saying a word or moving a muscle until Baekhyun realized that the minutes on the clock in the car were only increasing.

“We should really get going. The children usually take a good hour just to go through the books and talk about them.”

“Okay, I’ll grab the boxes and you grab the bags.”

“The boxes are heavy though. Let me help with one of them.”

“They weigh about as much as you do. Don’t even think about it.” Chanyeol took his keys out of the ignition and threw his door wide. Before hopping out, he turned to Baekhyun. “Wait right there.” He walked over to the other side of the car, where Baekhyun’s eyes looked out from the window, and pulled the passenger door open. He held out his hand. “Come on, take it. At least let me be a gentleman.”

Baekhyun smiled, placing his hand in the palm of Chanyeol’s. “Thank you so very much.”

“My absolute pleasure.”

-

As soon as the children saw Baekhyun walk through the doors, they went wild with hoots and cries of excitement from their beds. Only Youngie jumped out of her bed to run to him while the others kicked off their covers and watched. Chanyeol took the duffel bag away from Baekhyun and joined Kyungsoo and Jongin at the front of the ward while Baekhyun crouched down to give Youngie a hug.

“Baekkie! Baekkie!” she squealed as he picked her up. She pecked his nose.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he said with a chuckle. Baekhyun walked them over to her bed where he set her down underneath the pink comforter and took a seat near the foot, but she climbed out to stand beside him instead.

Youngie bundled her little arms around his neck from behind and peeped over his shoulder. “Why don’t you have the books?”

“Oh, Chanyeol has them over there. Are you ready to see the one we made you?”

“Um, ‘we,’ Baekkie?”

“Yeah, Chanyeol helped me choose all your photos and put them together.” Baekhyun smirked and reached back behind him, patting her small head. “It is very pretty, just like you.” He beckoned in Chanyeol’s direction for him to bring her scrapbook over, and at the same time, he let Kyungsoo and Jongin know that they should begin passing out the rest. 

Chanyeol came as quickly as his legs could carry him. “Here you go, beautiful,” he said, giving the book to Baekhyun, which caused him to blush violently.

“He meant you, Youngie,” Baekhyun said quickly. He pulled the young girl onto his lap. “Do you want to go through it together?”

“Yes please.”

“I’ll go help out with some of the others,” Chanyeol murmured, grinning at the connection between the two that he admired so dearly before making his departure.

Baekhyun waited until he was clear across the room first, then he handed the book to Youngie and let her explore it. She did so in utter silence, which was unlike her usual talkative self, and Baekhyun would’ve been lying if he said that it didn’t worry him. He liked hearing her feedback on his work; without it, he hardly had enough energy to go back to his lab to make more scrapbooks. She was the only person who could be brutally honest with him and not make him feel bad.

Perhaps she wasn’t feeling well, and he didn’t know if that made him more or less anxious. He wondered though, if he had done something wrong. This was the first time he’d seen her in a few days, so it couldn’t have been that. He gave her a shake, and she tilted her head upward.

“Youngie, are you alright? Why are you being so quiet?” She didn’t say anything immediately. It sounded like she was humming little fragments of what she wanted to say, but nothing came out, upsetting Baekhyun further. “Did someone say something mean to you or do something mean?”

She shook her head. “No, nobody hurts me because I have you, Baekkie.”

“That makes me feel good, you know?” he said, holding her closely. “Can you at least tell me what’s on your mind then? I want you to be able to trust me.”

“I do trust you! It’s just...”

“Just what, Youngie?”

Her voice broke. “Do you love Park Sir Yeol the way I love you, Baekkie? Because I think you would want to spend more time than him, right?”

“No,” he said in a shushing voice. “Nobody can love me as much as you do, and I love nobody else in the world as much as I love you.” He shut his eyes as he set the book aside and used both his arms to cradle her. It never entered his mind that she could know so much. After all, she was merely a child, and hadn’t even turned six yet. Whatever gave rise to her assumption had misled her greatly.

-

Coming home to his studio was something Baekhyun had anticipated from the very start of the day. He thought it’d be too busy for him to handle, yet somehow, he managed it, thanks to the aid he received from his friends. He had lived this day so many times before, by himself, though it never seemed so exhausting, and he wasn’t sure if it was the somewhat great affair or the confrontation by a five year old that just took it out of him on this particular day. It couldn’t bother him anymore, he thought, for it was all done and over with, and the only thing he had to fight with was his body’s unwillingness to sleep.

Or so he thought.

Because nobody ever visited him, it came as a surprise to hear three very long, very dull knocks at his door, and he figured it’d be a distant neighbor who needed help restarting his car, or maybe even Kyungsoo who could’ve been stopping by to compliment his extremely hard work and effort, but it was neither of the scenarios Baekhyun had played out in his head.

It turned out to be a case which was simultaneously better and worse than some old neighbor or an old friend.

“Chanyeol? I thought you left.”

“I only made it halfway down the street when I realized that I didn’t want to be alone tonight.”

Baekhyun squinted his eyes. “Why not?”

“Can I come in first?”

“Of course.” Baekhyun stepped to the side of the door, giving Chanyeol all the room he needed to get by. After they were both under the same roof, Baekhyun shut the entry and ambled to the other’s side. “Would you like some water, or a soda? I’ll have to run to the store if you want the latter actually, but there’s definitely coffee and tea somewhere in the kitchen.”

Chanyeol couldn’t process all that he said soon enough and settled for water. While Baekhyun went to retrieve a glass for him, he roamed the hall, looking at each of the frames that slung on long, skinny nails. Baekhyun was in every frame, either by himself or with another man, a blond one who looked much younger than Baekhyun.

The photos with only Baekhyun caught the most genuine smile Chanyeol had seen on any person. He reckoned that the blond man had snapped pictures of Baekhyun when he least expected it, resulting in some blurry photos, but nonetheless bliss-filled and sincere. Chanyeol came across his favorite one toward the end of the line: It was Baekhyun under the breaking branches of a willow tree, and through the green leaves was all of Baekhyun. His smile, though square-shaped, served as the sun, shining through the cracks of the canopy, and his eyes brilliantly displayed a touch of glee that Chanyeol could feel through the glass of the frame. He looked a bit thicker as well, which was a good thing, Chanyeol decided, for his plump cheeks were what made him attractive. He reached out and took the frame off of its nail, thinking of how it was such a shame that he didn’t meet Baekhyun during this time.

He heard quiet steps drawing nearer as he stroked the picture, but he didn’t care if Baekhyun was to catch him in such a way. It’d probably be easier to explain why he didn’t want to go home anyways if he walked in while Chanyeol had his picture in hand.

“I have one with ice, and one without. Which?”

“Without is good.”

Baekhyun gave the drink to him. “Okay, can we discuss why the big boy needs someone to hold his hand at night?”

“Can we sit down first?”

“Um, my bed is the only piece of furniture around here. Follow me.”

Leading them through a different corridor, Baekhyun ascended a flight of winding steps with Chanyeol no more than a couple paces behind. When they came to the very last step, Baekhyun flipped a switch on his left, and a sequence of lights illuminated the room.

His bedroom was basically the entire top floor. It was unbelievably spacious for one little man to occupy, but Baekhyun had so many pictures taped on his wall that he never felt alone, not even for one second. The only bad thing about the room was that it had no door, though it probably wasn’t necessary since he already had so much privacy to begin with.

Chanyeol found the blond man again in many of the pictures, even though he was only gaping from the entrance of the room. He wasn’t sure if he felt comfortable setting another foot inside although Baekhyun had invited him to join him on the bed, because after piecing together the humongous puzzle from all that he had seen, just from the lower level corridor to Baekhyun’s room, Chanyeol was certain he knew who the blond man was.

“Is that your ex-husband?” he questioned sadly, pointing to the biggest picture in the room.

Baekhyun glanced in the direction Chanyeol’s finger was pointing to, and as soon as his eyes settled, he became twice as sad. “Yeah, that’s him. I’ve been meaning to take that down, but I just haven’t had much time.”

“Don’t take it down. It’s really beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Baekhyun said. He looked at his bedsheets, picking at them with his fingers while Chanyeol continued to look around. “You know that you can come sit down, right?”

“I-I don’t know if I—”

“Just come. It’s a king-sized bed. You can sit all the way on the other side if you want.”

Amusing as it was to listen to Baekhyun’s sarcasm, Chanyeol couldn’t imagine sitting so far away, so he plopped down right beside Baekhyun. The bed didn’t look so big from a distance; however, up close, Chanyeol really grasped how lonely and cold sleeping probably was for Baekhyun. He couldn’t get too hung up on that though; he and Baekhyun had a lot more to talk about than their empty beds.

“Hey, are all of the kids diagnosed with cancer?”

“My kids? I wouldn’t say all of them, but most of them are.”

“Ah,” Chanyeol sighed, “Does Youngie have it?”

Baekhyun shook his head, which came off as a shock to Chanyeol. “No, but her heart beats irregularly. They call it arrhythmia, or something. She is a rare case, for this disease isn’t usually seen in children, nor is it this serious.”

“But she seems fine.”

“We’ve seen her on good days, Chanyeol. I’ve also been there on bad days, and it tears my heart out of my chest whenever she’s in pain.”

“I understand. And that’s why I came back here. I didn’t want to be alone after seeing all your kids.” Chanyeol’s breath hitched momentarily. “Do you think about how they’ve so much more to lose, yet they find ways to appreciate the small things? Not that your work is small, per se, but a doctor could come in and tell them that he has found a cure for cancer, or whatever sickness they have, and they still wouldn’t be half as happy as when you bring in your scrapbooks.”

Taking that as a compliment, Baekhyun smiled and bowed his head. “When you’re in a position where all hope is lost, you start to appreciate the little things.”

“But that’s my point. I sat with one of the boys, and we talked about his favorite picture that you had taken. All the while, I kept thinking to myself, ‘Why does he enjoy it so?’ although he had already told me about a hundred times.” Once again, Chanyeol interrupted himself with a gulp, then went on. “I began to see a little through him, how petty and selfish my situation with Chohee is. On one hand, I have this child who finds solace in a black and white photograph of a river, and on the other hand, I have myself.”

“A man with sensitivity and tenderness. Chanyeol, you can’t compare yourself to a nine year old. You’ve seen more, you’ve been through more.”

“He has cancer, okay? _Cancer._ Why should I reserve the right to be unhappy when I’m living a healthy life? I could be dead right now, and yet, I’m more concerned with the fact that my girlfriend won’t answer my calls.” Chanyeol set his glass of water on the floor. It sent even more chills through him than what he had wanted.

“It doesn’t make a difference, you know? Whether you are diagnosed or not, hardships are hardships. You are never going to completely heal if you keep picking at the scab.”

Chanyeol leaned toward Baekhyun as though it was the most natural movement he could make and rested his head in the male’s lap. He didn’t care anymore that Baekhyun had said it was wrong. “How did you get so good at comforting people?”

“Because I’ve been burned before too.”

“Then maybe...stay away from fire...” Chanyeol, reaching for Baekhyun’s arms, latched onto them and brought them around his neck, using them as a blanket. Although thin, it was enough to lull Chanyeol into a soothing slumber, and Baekhyun heard no more from him, other than his soft breathing and calm heartbeat. 

Baekhyun slanted forward, his lips lingering on Chanyeol’s forehead. “I’m trying, but this particular fire is so beautiful that I can’t keep away. I wouldn’t mind being burned by it either,” Baekhyun murmured against his skin, and then doing away with his guilty conscience, he ventured down Chanyeol’s face, from his forehead to his nose, then to the very last point: his lips.

-

If lunch at a children’s hospital was the norm for Baekhyun, then a vacation in a town four hours away was Chanyeol’s standard. Of course, both situations were equally terrible and unsuitable for the two of them, but to make it fair, Baekhyun went along with Chanyeol. As usual, he was skeptical about anything that didn’t involve him being in control. It sounded like an innocent leave at the first mention, which he was fine with, until Chanyeol mentioned that it’d be a three-day trip at the least. 

It was the camera incident all over again.

Baekhyun freaked, Chanyeol assured him all would be well, they got in the car, and then they left. The procedure was becoming something Chanyeol enjoyed thoroughly, not just because he was given the opportunity to assert some dominance over Baekhyun, but also because it showed him how much trust Baekhyun had in him to be willing to step out of his comfort zone despite all signs of the universe telling him to stay put.

However, a compromise needed to be made and met, so before they began on their “vacation,” Baekhyun insisted they bid the children farewell.

Chanyeol laughed. “You know that we’ll be back, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t usually go more than a day without seeing the kids. Three days will feel like three years to them.”

“But it’s been four days since we’ve delivered, and we haven’t gone back to visit yet. Are you trying to stall?”

“Has it really been four days?” Baekhyun glanced in Chanyeol’s direction as he nodded. Ever since that day, so much had occupied Baekhyun’s mind; he didn’t have a chance to think about anything except for what happened between himself and Chanyeol, yet even then, he briefly brushed over it, and that was that. “Then never mind. Let’s just go.”

“Baekhyun, we can stop—”

“Really, they’ve survived four days. Another three won’t kill them.” The sad truth was, he was too ashamed to face them. There was no way he was going to be able to walk into the ward and pretend that a part of him didn’t change over the course of three weeks, but when Chanyeol clutched his wrist, pulled his hand away and laced their fingers together, Baekhyun began to think that change wasn’t such a bad thing.

-

Two hours into the trip, and they hadn’t said a single word to one another. They looked forward at the winding road, their hands still attached as they were when they departed from home. Chanyeol squeezed tightly whenever he felt Baekhyun’s attempts to pull away, and after a long game of tug-of-war, Baekhyun stopped fighting.

“There’s a possibility that you’re cutting off my circulation,” Baekhyun giggled.

Chanyeol breathed calmly and rested against the back of his chair. “I love that.”

“Love what?”

“Your smile, and your laugh. They’re so mesmerizing.” And before Baekhyun could speak up, Chanyeol brought his hand up to his lips and gave it a peck. “Don’t ever stop.”

Shivers raced down Baekhyun’s back; his face turned a fair shade of red. He wanted Chanyeol to do it again, but he wasn’t going to ask for it. That was too bold of a move. Alternatively, he rested his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder, and for the next few seconds, he basked in the glory of being in love again, despite knowing it’d end quicker than it began.

-

With only an hour left until they arrived, Chanyeol decided to make a stop for food. He wasn’t too hungry himself, but after hearing Baekhyun’s stomach growl ferociously over the sound of his car’s engine and the tires on the gravel road, even though he insisted that he was “fine,” Chanyeol made the final call. All that was important to him was getting something into Baekhyun’s system.

Unfortunately, the only restaurant on their way served Western food. The next one was at least another 30 minutes down. Chanyeol was uncertain of whether or not the other liked the menu, but he didn’t seem too opposed to it.

“It’d be nice to try something new for a change,” Baekhyun said confidently, and so all peace was restored.

They walked up to the main doors, ready to have some very questionable lunch and a good time together, when Baekhyun got the call. Not _a_ call, but _the_ call.

-

No matter how heavy his foot was on the gas pedal, Chanyeol realized that his car would not get them back home in time. His tires blowing out was the least of his worries, for nothing could compare to Baekhyun being swallowed by his own tears. That had become Chanyeol’s biggest concern, and if he was going to ruin his car for anybody, he was glad it would be for Baekhyun.

But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it wasn’t all for Baekhyun. There was also a sense of urgency settling in Chanyeol’s bone marrow that weighed his leg down and made him carelessly switch lanes between cars that were going too slowly. He wanted to return as well.

When he watched Baekhyun’s mien change at the restaurant, it was like watching the transition between summer into fall, or day into night: All the light that had ever radiated off his face turned pitch black, but unlike the seasons or the sun, Chanyeol didn’t think Baekhyun would ever come back around.

He couldn’t help but feel responsible. If he hadn’t suggested that they leave, they wouldn’t have been racing down the highway to get to where they needed to be. Chanyeol was the only one to blame, and in that moment, he didn’t really care if Baekhyun would never forgive him for as long as they lived. 

Chanyeol would never forgive himself either.

-

At last, they arrived at Bijou. 

Baekhyun jumped out of the car before Chanyeol could put it into park. In the time it took for the latter to undo his seatbelt and kick his door open, Baekhyun already sprinted through the main doors, and had it not been for Chanyeol’s abnormally long legs, he never would’ve caught up. He managed to grab Baekhyun’s hand in time, and from there, they swiftly made their way up to Ward 6 together. They barged into the room where Kyungsoo, Jongin, Sooyeon, and a few others were standing. Baekhyun’s eyes scanned the room.

“Where are the kids?” he cried. Still being linked to Chanyeol and all, he didn’t get very far. 

As a matter of fact, Chanyeol continuously made an effort to keep Baekhyun from proceeding to the beds. He knew it’d only shatter him in a way that’d be impossible to repair; Chanyeol just wanted to protect him.

The others were the same. Nobody was brave enough to answer his question, or say anything to him at all. They all made faces at each other first, urging one another to step up and speak.

In the end, Sooyeon took the challenge. “We made them move to Ward 8. We agreed that it wasn’t right for them to see this.”

“How is she? What happened? I thought she was okay!”

“She _was,_ but this morning, I came up to give her her morning dose, and the monitor was declining. We didn’t know what it was. Yunho—”

“What did the doctor say? What did he do?”

Just then, Doctor Jung entered. He and Baekhyun met gazes, shared a tense connection, and nothing said “Warning” more than the redness that outlined the doctor’s eyes. “I gave her two extra doses of medicine. Her heart wasn’t cooperating, and it was too abrupt to perform surgery.”

“Abrupt? You didn’t detect this in any of her tests from over the past few weeks?”

“There were traces, but because they had happened so often before, it was overlooked. The irregularities were becoming normal.”

“I need to see her.”

Chanyeol clearly understood more quickly than the other. “Baekhyun,” he said through softly gritted teeth.

“I need to see her, damn it!”

“She’s gone!” Doctor Jung said sternly. “Youngmae is gone. We did everything we can but the odds weren’t in our favor.”

Baekhyun fell into Chanyeol’s embrace with a sob. That was when the crowd dispersed, and Youngie could be seen tucked in her bed, under the thick white blanket she had always had ever since she was transferred to Bijou. Nothing looked different about her: She was still pale and delicate, graceful in the childish way that had always charmed everyone whose paths she crossed. Her charcoal locks swept across her lids, and her hands were folded neatly on top of it all.

Another part of her remained out in the open. Near the middle of the bed, which was as far as she reached, her feet stuck out from under the covers, and Baekhyun couldn’t sway the thought that this was done purposely for him.

One wrapped in white and the other in blue, her little feet led an ocean of memories that came flooding back to Baekhyun, and those memories released themselves in the form of his tears, seeping through Chanyeol’s shirt and burning his skin.

-

They left him to sulk beside Youngie for an hour or so, and he ended up falling asleep. When it was time for her to be wheeled away, Chanyeol lifted him up and set him on the neighboring bed. He didn’t stir; he barely breathed.

Doctor Jung and all the nurses had convinced Chanyeol to bring Baekhyun home, but also asked that he accompany Baekhyun wherever he’d decide to go or stay. Each and every one of them knew that the worst person for him to be with was himself, for the pain of loss was something that nobody in the world could handle well by his or herself. Chanyeol was already two steps ahead, assuring them that no harm would come to Baekhyun as long as they left him in Chanyeol’s hands.

After establishing Chanyeol’s credibility, he prepared himself and Baekhyun to depart from the hospital, only to be stopped by the doctor. “Chanyeol, may I have a word with you first?” he asked quietly. 

“Of course, doctor.” Chanyeol backed away from the beds, leaving Baekhyun under the sole care of Kyungsoo.

The doctor and Chanyeol exited right outside the ward and stood against the wall. They faced each other, albeit they never looked at one another, as if to convey that no more damage needed to be done than what the debris was proving had already been inflicted. Doctor Jung leaned his head back until it hit the wall, and Chanyeol propped one leg up, his hands tucked away in his pockets, his head lowered.

It seemed that all the words in the world had slipped their minds for the moment until the elder cleared his throat and spoke. “What exactly is your relationship with Baekhyun? Are you guys friends, or more?”

“Sir, I don’t believe that is an appropriate—”

“Don’t worry. I’m not asking to judge. I just want to know who I’m giving him to.”

_Giving?_ Chanyeol shrugged that off. “We-we are...” And that was when Chanyeol realized that he didn’t know who he was to Baekhyun, and vice versa. They had never given themselves a definition.

“You are what, Chanyeol?”

“I am someone who’d rather die before seeing something bad happen to Baekhyun, sir. I don’t know if there is a ‘we’ to label, but he...he is my everything.”

With a sigh of relief, Doctor Jung nodded, quickly returning inside to comfort the rest of his workers.

Chanyeol was left by himself in that miserable hallway with his thoughts floating about in the air like clouds on a stormy night. He had never admitted his thoughts of Baekhyun to anyone, not even to himself. There was too much uncertainty in seeing, hearing, _feeling_ Baekhyun. It never made very much sense to fill his head with those nonsensical thoughts, even when they were acting like a couple, but being in front of the doctor brought it all out.

Chanyeol couldn’t say for sure, the quality in Doctor Jung that made him so incredibly intimidating but trustworthy, all at the same time. Wisdom radiated off of him like the rays that fell from the sun, and that appeared to be the problem. He was too intelligent, and he knew exactly what was locked away in Chanyeol’s heart; he just wanted to hear it for himself.

And Chanyeol presumed, in the very end, that the reason he could say those things to the doctor with such ease and fearlessness was because he had hopes of his own, dreams that it wasn’t too late to save him from this disease that was consuming him from the inside out.

-

The only thing Baekhyun needed to see to know he wasn’t at home was the ceiling. While his at home climbed until it reached a point, the one above him now was flat, giving him the impression that it was going to come crashing down on him. His body, unfamiliar in its own way, was heavy too. He could barely peel it off the foreign mattress, but he did, and he looked around the room. A window, a closet, a door. Everything seemed normal, but his vision was far too deceiving, for he missed the portrait on the wall that would’ve helped him identify whose room he was in. After a second scan of his surroundings, Baekhyun breathed heavily and tossed his heavy body back into the pile of softness.

Piece by piece, his foggy memory restored itself and reminded him of why there was a hole in his chest. The first and only place he wandered to was Youngie, like it was his instinct. Tears marked his hot cheeks; a whimper grazed his lips. Before he knew it, he was sobbing into the stuffy air. He heard a door slam and footsteps thump on the ground outside as he let out another cry, and perceiving that it was Chanyeol coming to his rescue, he covered his mouth with both hands and wailed to his heart’s content.

It wasn’t enough to keep Chanyeol out though. He barged in, panting for life, his eyes needily searching for Baekhyun to be okay, but the latter had buried his face into the creases of the comforter. Chanyeol took baby steps to his side, plopping down as close to Baekhyun as possible without startling him. Very gently, he pulled the bawling mess into his chest and shushed him, his hand patting Baekhyun’s head and back. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” he murmured. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Baekhyun took his fingers and twisted them into the other’s shirt, grabbing and clawing with arrant desperation for his pain to be relieved in spite of knowing it would never fully disappear. He found himself torn between pushing Chanyeol away, for he was too ashamed to show his vulnerability, and pulling him nearer until they became one, because he couldn’t stand the thought of being utterly alone. Ultimately, he crumbled and chose the latter, but for no reason other than how safe he felt under Chanyeol’s wing.

Neither of the two had anything to say, what with Baekhyun practically hyperventilating and Chanyeol trying to calm him down. In all of Chanyeol’s life, he’d never felt such an emptiness in his gut. He couldn’t imagine what the elder was feeling, but the most he could do was be there. Words couldn’t fix a single thing; however, he could sense that all Baekhyun wanted was someone to be patient with him and his pain, and Chanyeol was more than prepared.

-

It took an hour for Baekhyun to be okay again. Forty-five of those sixty were used to soothe him, and the succeeding 15 were spent cleaning up his appearance.

Chanyeol’s promise to take care of him extended further than emotional support—he had every intention to make sure Baekhyun looked presentable, not that he didn’t want to be seen around with somebody who had snot running down his neck, but because Chanyeol personally thought that feeling like shit was as bad as things should ever get. There was no need to look like a hot mess too.

Using a warm towel, he traced the tracks of Baekhyun’s tears. The smaller male’s swollen eyes remained diverted down but Chanyeol kept his face tilted up, gently dabbing away at his skin. He caught Baekhyun staring at him a few seconds at a time, and each time, his eyes moved a little lower. Chanyeol smiled. “You know, you can kiss me if you want.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes immediately. “I don’t though.”

“I do. But I won’t, because I respect you.”

“Is that the only reason you won’t kiss me? Are you sure it’s not because you’re already in love with somebody else, and you’re just playing around until she’s ready?”

“Whoa, somebody took his bitter meds, huh? I should watch out.” Chanyeol giggled, and shockingly enough, he was able to maintain this light and positive attitude. He said many playful things to Baekhyun to cheer him up while he tended to him like he was a sick child, and even though more times than not, he flopped at touching Baekhyun’s heart, he never gave up. “Okay, done now sweetie. Now will you join me for dinner?”

“No. Don’t call me that. And where am I?”

Narrowing his eyes, Chanyeol snickered. “My place, silly. It’s probably not as grand as your studio, but I hope it’ll do.”

“It _doesn’t_ do. I want to go home.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol said nonchalantly. “Go.”

And Baekhyun would’ve, but he realized that he had no idea what part of town he was in, if it was even in town. For all he knew, Chanyeol could’ve taken him to a different country.

When he failed to move, Chanyeol spoke again. “I thought you wanted to go home. Just so you know, I won’t hold you back if you do leave. But I will follow you. Not even in my car, Baekhyun. I will walk on my damn feet and follow you wherever you go.” He stood up from the bed with a huff and a puff and a shake of his head. “I need you to be okay.”

Baekhyun grumbled and bent over, stuffing his head in the space between his legs. “Don’t do that to me! Don’t make me feel that part of you that cares!”

“But you should know that it’s there! It’s yours.”

“No, no don’t you dare,” Baekhyun said, his voice breaking. He was close to sobbing again. “I don’t want you to say things you don’t mean. Things you’ll take back as soon as you understand what they’ll do to your life.”

“Never in my life have I said something I didn’t mean, especially to you.”

Lifting his head, Baekhyun glared at Chanyeol’s back, which was still facing him. He kept the volume of his crying down to a minimum even though his wet eyes were only getting wetter and blurrier as the prolonged stillness survived another second.

Chanyeol talked once more, his voice persistently tame. “I don’t know how hurt you are from your past, but I know for sure that you are afraid to accept anything new, specifically something as powerful as love. With everything that has happened, I don’t blame you, but you deserve to feel as though—”

The rest of that statement ceased to exist when Chanyeol’s breath was knocked out of him by the smaller male’s body applying a stupefying amount of pressure on his back. Baekhyun’s arms latched together right on top of Chanyeol’s abdomen, his face pressed into the other’s spine. 

“You can’t say things like this to me,” he groaned. “It’s not fair.”

Chanyeol clutched the other’s hands. “Life isn’t fair sweetie,” he muttered, feeling the effects of his own tears. “That’s why I didn’t meet you first.” Then, he turned around and hugged Baekhyun with all his might. Baekhyun fit so well into his chest, they were as good as glued together. It had crossed Chanyeol’s mind to bend down and take his lips, for he had yearned for his nectar much too long, but his self-restraint wouldn’t allow him to ruin this already-beautiful moment. Intimacy didn’t require their lips to touch.

“ _Now,_ will you come to dinner?” Chanyeol asked after what seemed to be an appropriate five minutes of taking in each other’s scents.

Baekhyun looked up at him. “I’m not very hungry, but I am very exhausted. Can I please just go back to bed?”

His puppy-dog eyes were irresistible. “Of course. Do you want to change first?”

“That’d be great, if you have something.”

Chanyeol let go of Baekhyun and told him to sit on the bed while he left the room in a hurry. A couple slamming doors later, he was back but with empty hands, which made Baekhyun wonder what he was trying to find. Then, he glided over to his closet, slid the door open, and furiously raided it. He mumbled a few curse words in the process of tossing out his clothes, one article at a time.

It made Baekhyun feel bad watching him. “If you don’t have anything for me to wear, it’s fine. I can just—”

“Found it!” He brought over a navy-blue set of pajamas, a pleased grin spreading across his face. “Go on and try it. The bathroom is out that door, to your left, at the end of the hall.”

“But it looks...huge.”

“Just take it. It’s my last pair. I haven’t found time to do my laundry yet this week, so this is all I have.”

Baekhyun made a face as if to jeer at the fact that Chanyeol was actually capable of doing his own laundry and laughed. “I’m not going to wear your last set of pajamas!”

“Then what’ll you wear? I know those jeans are uncomfortable for you.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve already taken so much away from you, okay? I refuse to take more. Your time, your home, your bed, it’s plenty enough.”

Chanyeol persisted anyway. “We can share, alright?”

“Share?” Baekhyun asked with a twisted mien.

“You know, like, you get a piece and I get a piece?”

“I know what sharing is! I just don’t know how comfortable I’ll feel parading around your place half-naked.”

Chanyeol stopped for a second and pulled the two-piece set apart. He threw the top at Baekhyun. “Then I suggest wearing this. It should be long enough to cover you.”

“Fine,” Baekhyun answered, pretending to pout. He didn’t change right away though. He hopped off the bed and looked at Chanyeol for a long while, then at the button-up in his hands. “Can I shower?”

“Yeah, whatever suits you. Towels are in the bottom cabinet.”

Baekhyun said no more and snuck out, even though Chanyeol’s eyes were fixated closely on him until he was no longer in his field of vision.

-

While he waited for Baekhyun to get out of the shower, Chanyeol cleaned the mess he made in the process of finding something for the former to wear. It kept his mind from wandering places it shouldn’t be no matter how great it could be. Lucky for him, any man who dated Chohee was a professional at self-control, and that’s exactly what Chanyeol had become. His desires, his needs, he learned to brush them off in the blink of an eye and carry on as though they didn’t cripple his every step.

Being around Baekhyun highlighted this part of him even more. He had to learn to do away with the thoughts that kept him awake at night, which were the same ones that were haunting him as he listened to the running shower and the sound of Baekhyun’s humming.

A light pattern of vibrations from under the bed covers startled Chanyeol. He followed the noise until he found a phone, presumably Baekhyun’s. The name on the screen read “Kyungsoo,” and it kept ringing. Chanyeol didn’t know what else to do, so reluctantly, he slid it open and answered.

_“Baek? Where are you? Come to the door!”_

Chanyeol gulped. “He’s not here right now.”

_“What? Chanyeol? Why do you have Baekhyun’s phone? Where is he?”_

“He’s in the shower right now. He’s gonna, well, he’s supposed to be spending the night at my place.”

There was a pause. _“Wait, seriously?”_

“Yeah. You guys said he shouldn’t be alone, right?”

Kyungsoo’s breath trembled noticeably through the line. _“Okay, then please listen closely. He doesn’t sleep, so you will need to do your very best to make sure—”_

“What do you mean, he doesn’t sleep?”

_“Baekhyun was diagnosed with insomnia two years ago. Nothing harmful to him because he’ll usually doze off for an hour or two at some point. However, for tonight, you may want to keep him close.”_

Caught between disbelief and distress, he inhaled sharply, then let it out slowly. “I’ll handle it. I promise.”

Another pause ensued, in which Chanyeol heard Kyungsoo shuffle around and say, _“He’s delicate, Chanyeol. And he puts up one hell of a front to hide it. The only thing he wants is somebody who’ll listen.”_

“I know, and that’s what I intend to do. Don’t worry so much, okay? He’s in good hands.”

_“But Chanyeol, how long will this last before you go running back to your girlfriend?”_

Chanyeol’s lips parted, ready to speak, until he realized he had nothing to say in retaliation. Not even he knew how long he had with Baekhyun. Forever sounded like a good place to start, but that wasn’t fair to either of them, considering that they were meant to go on their own ways, and crossing paths was only a mere coincidence. At least Chanyeol believed so.

In the midst of his search for words, he heard the shower fade out and Baekhyun’s voice lost its tune. He needed to get off the phone. “I’ll take care of everything, Kyungsoo. Just believe in me.” Chanyeol hung up and tossed the device back on the bed, pulling the comforter over it as well. He sat down near the foot, anticipating the other’s entrance, when he really should’ve been preparing for it.

As soon as Baekhyun walked in, it was like all the air had been knocked out of Chanyeol. He gasped and stared and wondered what he had done in his past lifetime to be blessed with this graceful presence, but he snapped out of it when he realized that Baekhyun was giggling at how hard he ogled.

-

Chanyeol cursed at himself for leaving the room in such a sloppy rush after Baekhyun innocently approached him. He shouldn’t have made it so obvious, but control was one of the many things Chanyeol didn’t have when it came to Baekhyun. 

When asked where he was going, Chanyeol could only cough out a breathy “Shower!” and slam the bathroom door to make his excuse credible. The only thing he could think about while he was in the washroom was how beautiful Baekhyun looked, sparkling under the clean light, until he was able to strip himself down and feel his way into the tub.

Usually, a nice warm shower could pacify him from a long day, but it was so hot for him already that he had to turn the faucet all the way to cold and endure the pellets chilling his body. He never imagined things this way before. His chest tightened up and he fell back, the wall breaking his fall.

Never before had he felt this with Chohee. Was this what it meant to be in love?

-

Chanyeol took an extra 15 minutes in the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. Of course, they were also good activities to help him stall, though he couldn’t keep up for much longer. The steam in the washroom was smothering him, and it was terrible enough that he had left his guest alone in his bedroom without anything to do. Baekhyun was probably bored out of his mind and contemplating his leave.

He ambled to his room carefully and peeked through the small crack he had left when he sprinted out about a half hour prior. Baekhyun was nowhere to be seen, which launched Chanyeol into a pit of guilt and resent. It didn’t even occur to him that he should’ve just walked in before getting so upset, for when he heard rustling and grunting, he figured that Baekhyun was more than likely on his bed, the only object in the room that could not be seen through such a small opening.

Cautiously, he crept in and found Baekhyun curled up in the tiniest ball ever. He had Chanyeol’s blanket cloaking his shoulders and the rest of his body. A warm grin swept across him, and then died off just as quickly as he remembered what Kyungsoo had said. It made him want to swaddle the smaller male in his arms, but he couldn’t. Not until he did some research. He wanted to know more about Baekhyun’s condition, not that he had very much knowledge in the first place.

For a couple minutes, he comfortably surfed the Internet on his cell phone. Very few sites had an answer for his inquiries, and an even smaller amount of them actually made sense to him. He didn’t understand any of the medical terms and had trouble figuring out how to pronounce them, but he luckily came to a website that broke it down.

“‘Insomniacs know when they are tired, but their bodies will reject signals telling them so and stay awake through fatigue. Physical exhaustion is sooner reached when patient is experiencing emotional or mental exhaustion,’” Chanyeol read aloud, and instantly, it clicked.

Exhaustion was more than what the body felt. Baekhyun’s heart, his mind, they could hurt and tire just as much, if not more than, his frail body. Losing Youngie was the breaking point.

He turned off his phone, afraid to read anymore, and climbed into bed. Seeing as how Baekhyun had made himself comfortable in the center of the bed, Chanyeol simply joined him there. To him, where they slept didn’t matter. He just wanted to hold Baekhyun the entire time, and never let morning take him away.

-

The following day, Baekhyun and Chanyeol kept themselves pasted to the bed. They didn’t do so much as budge from their positions. Baekhyun laid on Chanyeol’s chest, awake, and watched the day slosh right by while the other male slept peacefully. He had been up for more than half of the entire morning, waiting to see if Chanyeol would ever wake, thought it was stunning enough with him unconscious.

Time ticked, and the afternoon ran long. Chanyeol still hadn’t stirred yet. Baekhyun adored him most in his unshakable slumber, and traced his features with his slender fingers. Then his lips brushed against his warm skin. How could one person stand to be the epitome of perfection? Wasn’t it exhausting? Yet, for the first time in a long time, Baekhyun was confident enough to say he was in love.

-

If Baekhyun’s plan was to starve, Chanyeol was going to starve with him. By way of nighttime, they had only gotten up twice to brush their teeth and use the bathroom. Most of the day was spent talking about any and everything, but nothing related to Youngie. Chanyeol wanted the conversation to be brought up by Baekhyun himself. That way, he’d know that it was not too sensitive to be discussed.

It happened beautifully.

“Chanyeol, do you think she’s in a better place?” Baekhyun asked.

“Of course.”

Baekhyun shifted in Chanyeol’s hold. “Can I tell you a secret? I noticed something about her when we saw her, the other day.”

“You can tell me anything.”

“It was her feet. She was wearing socks, a blue one and a white one. And those socks, I remember them.”

“Where from?”

It was quiet for a moment, and then Baekhyun scoffed faintly. “Her first day at Bijou. She came with those mismatching socks on her little feet, and I remember that that was the first thing I noticed. It made me...”

“Made you what?”

“Love her. When I saw her, I knew that I loved her. I wanted her to be mine, my daughter.”

Chanyeol breathed forcefully. “Don’t, Baekhyun.”

“I wanted her, Chanyeol. So much. After everything I’ve lost, I just wanted to keep her.” And he just kept repeating that until he completely dozed off for the second night in a row.

-

They were called back to the hospital the following weekend by Kyungsoo. Details of why were vague, but they both knew it was related to Youngie, so they flew quickly to Bijou and up to the ward. 

It was just as Baekhyun had expected: The entire staff lined up at the head of the room and the children sat up in their beds, buried under their respective blankets. Everyone wore gloomy miens, as they should’ve been, and kept their heads down, like they were praying. Baekhyun squeezed Chanyeol’s arm and released a puff of air.

“What’s going on?” he whispered, but Chanyeol led them to where the rest of the adults were and undid Baekhyun’s grip on him before passing him on to Kyungsoo.

“It’s good to see you, Baek,” the short male said under his breath.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun whispered. “But what’s going on?”

“Service. Since the funeral was family only, we’re going to have our own memorial here.”

Baekhyun whipped his head around and looked at the others, who still hadn’t budged yet. It was uncontrollable, the tears that came rushing to his eyes when he finally noticed the empty bed that he completely missed upon his arrival. That was Youngie’s, and seeing her there had become so customary that he overlooked the fact that there was no one lying in her place.

And there never would be, ever again.

It turned out that Chanyeol played a rather large part in making the service happen. He didn’t say anything, but Baekhyun watched him lead an order of people in with bouquets of daisies stacked on top of even more bouquets. After the people set them on the bed, they dismissed themselves, leaving Chanyeol behind to deal with explaining his actions.

First, he waved for Baekhyun to come to his side, which he did, swiftly and without question. as they stood together, Chanyeol took Baekhyun’s hand, intertwining their fingers ever so gently.

“Your turn,” Chanyeol said. It earned him Baekhyun’s gaze. 

“What?”

“The service is to lay things down that tie us to her. It doesn’t matter what you give, as long as you give something meaningful.” He nudged Baekhyun forward. “Go on. The others are going to finish their part after we leave, unless you want to stay and watch.”

Baekhyun nodded and observed with a harsh stare. He wasn’t certain he even had anything to contribute, despite having known her the best, and possibly the longest. What linked them together wasn’t anything physical, but rather things that they said to one another. It took him a lot longer than anyone had thought it would, but he finally made a decision. He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and began searching through it until he found what he wanted. Moving forward, he laid it on the pillow.

“All these years, and not a single good picture,” Baekhyun said almost bitterly. “Here’s the first and last one we took, Youngie. And it has us doing the impossible.” He paused as his voice shook. “Smiling.”

Chanyeol swept up to Baekhyun’s side and placed his hand on top of the smaller male’s. “But no matter where you are, never stop.” The both of them faced each other. “As long as Youngie is smiling, Baekhyun will be too, right?”

Bobbing his head, Baekhyun answered, “Yes, yes I will. I love you, Youngie. Goodbye.”

-

To prevent Baekhyun from falling into a crying fit, Chanyeol made sure they left immediately after he finished his tribute. They asked no questions on their way back to Chanyeol’s apartment, and it further shocked him how Baekhyun didn’t protest to returning to the abode. It was like living together wasn’t even that big of a deal, even though they weren’t, and it was.

Somewhere around three in the afternoon, they reached “home” and settled down from their fairly busy day. They were still silent, barely making eye contact, albeit sneaking glances had become an enjoyable game. They sat in the living room. Baekhyun brought his legs up to his chest, rocking himself back and forth until he could breathe again. The past few days had been too suffocating for his likings, and his mind had been clouded with fear. How could he move on?

On the other side of the sofa, in a similar position, Chanyeol watched, deciding that he’d just let Baekhyun be his own person. It was never his forte, cheering people up. At least not the way Baekhyun could, like the first day they met. The biggest conflict was that he had nothing positive to offer Baekhyun yet. The service was all he had prepared to bring Baekhyun’s spirits up, but it was only the start to their inevitable ending.

-

Baekhyun tossed and turned for an hour. Then two. By the third hour, Chanyeol was also up, tossing and turning with him. Somewhere during the fourth hour, they were both on their backs, observing the odd ceiling above them with squinted eyes. The movements ceased in the fifth hour, and the words lived.

“Why daisies?” Baekhyun asked.

“Why not daisies? Do you not like them?”

“I love them very much, but I have a feeling you already knew that.”

“Perhaps I did.” Chanyeol squirmed until he was laying on his side. “Perhaps I didn’t. I’m not sure what I know.”

“Chanyeol...”

“Okay, so I knew, big deal. For the record, they weren’t just for you. I did it for Youngie as well. Daisies are a symbol of youth and innocence and purity, and that was her in a nutshell.”

Baekhyun flipped on his side and faced Chanyeol. “Teach me how to be strong.”

“What makes you think I know anything about that?”

“I’ve been observing you for weeks now. I-I know things that you probably don’t know about yourself, and you’ve probably noticed some things about me too.”

“And so?”

“Teach me how to move on from this. Make it stop hurting.” 

“It’ll always hurt.”

“Then make it hurt less.”

Chanyeol snickered. “That takes time. Lots of it. Whenever you’re ready, only you can tell yourself that it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Does that make sense?”

“Mm, I guess so.” Gradually, Baekhyun made his way closer to Chanyeol, fitting himself into the open creases that were waiting to be filled. He felt the other’s arms fasten around him, one on his waist and the other around his shoulders, and then the tenderness settled in between their bodies as warmth was exchanged. Baekhyun nuzzled Chanyeol’s chest and inhaled his scent. It made him feel good. “Will you hold me?”

“I already am, silly.”

“Then hold me tighter.”

Chanyeol’s arms grew limp from the bliss that rode in his blood, but he still pulled closer. “Is this better?”

“Don’t let me go...” Baekhyun muttered, his voice trailing off somewhere distant and probably more peaceful.

After he was certain that Baekhyun had dozed off fully, Chanyeol let himself cry the tears he had been holding for a couple days. “But I have to.” He forced himself to fall asleep, but for the first, and most likely the last time, he was the one who stayed up all night while Baekhyun rested calmly.

-

Two evenings later, Chanyeol busily tended to the kitchen. 

Dazed and unsuspecting, Baekhyun hopped in the bathtub for a soak, which was good for Chanyeol. The former only knew that dinner was being made; he had no idea that it’d knock him off his feet.

Chanyeol used this time to gather his materials. He needed his candles, his wine glasses, the wine, and of course, the food. It was the most intricate work he had ever done in all his life. Everything, down to the last drop of red, was planned with precision and care for the sole purpose of impressing Baekhyun.

He turned off the lights in the kitchen after he completed his work and headed to the bedroom. Baekhyun was still in the bathroom, so he decided he’d find something clean for him to change into before they sat down for dinner. Luckily, he had just the thing, for his laundry still hadn’t been done.

Deep in the back corners of his closet was an outfit Chanyeol had stashed away from the first week he and Baekhyun had known each other. Initially, it was a gift he had intended to give to Baekhyun at the end of their quest, whenever it’d come, but at the start of it all, Chanyeol didn’t expect to find separation so frightening. He needed to give the present soon, and the only appropriate time to do so seemed to be now.

He heard the bathroom door open and close, and then light footsteps drew near. Chanyeol shut his closet door too and stood by the bed until Baekhyun walked in. Without a towel.

“Oh my God!” Baekhyun shouted, eliciting the same cry from Chanyeol, who forced himself to turn around.

“Why don't you have a towel?!”

“Because you forgot to stock up!”

_Oh...that would be it,_ Chanyeol thought. His eyes still clenched shut, he staggered over to his drawers and dug out a towel for him. He thought about throwing it, but it wouldn’t have been the prettiest thing if he happened to miss. So, he mustered up his courage, fluttered open his eyes, and ambled on over. When he reached Baekhyun, he fanned out the towel and wrapped it around Baekhyun’s wet body. 

“I'm sorry,” he sighed, giving the smaller male a flick to the nose. “I found an outfit for you though.”

Baekhyun smiled halfheartedly. “I told you that you don't have to keep giving me your clothes. What’ll you wear?”

“I didn’t take this from my own wardrobe though. I bought it.”

“That’s even worse!”

“Plenty of weeks ago, Baekhyun. Calm down and just wear it.”

Though skeptical, Baekhyun took the stack into his hands. “Well, can I at least change in private?”

“But I’ve already seen you naked.”

Baekhyun chuckled and held open the door for Chanyeol. “Exactly.”

-

There was no sense of adventure in Baekhyun when he saw that the lights of the entire apartment were turned out. He thought Chanyeol was playing a prank of some sort, but a glow from the kitchen made him stop in his tracks and call out to Chanyeol. No one answered him. He took a few more steps around the strange setting until he found himself paralyzed by a dimmed chandelier that made way into his peripheral view. It hung over the dinner table, which was tiny and round, only suitable for two people, conveniently enough. Baekhyun couldn’t deny that it was a beautiful setting. The only thing that made it better was Chanyeol pulling out his seat and waiting for him to sit down.

“I’ll serve us, okay?”

With a nod from Baekhyun, Chanyeol moved over to his seat and unwrapped the dishes. The smell of fresh citrus and raw beef pervaded the entire room. It wasn’t exactly a foul scent, but it was rather sweet and familiar to Baekhyun, who was the first to detect the smell even though Chanyeol was standing directly in front of it. He suddenly felt greedy to keep the aroma to himself, as if it was _him._

Chanyeol’s voice was the only thing that could draw him back to the surface even if his words were just a messy slur that Baekhyun had trouble understanding. “I’m sorry, did you say something? I was still thinking about...never mind. What’d you say?”

“I asked how much wine you wanted.”

“Oh, half only, please.”

Like an expert, Chanyeol poured the wine into a glass for him and sat back, anticipating some sort of reaction, be it positive or negative.

As usual, it took Baekhyun forever to think of something to say about dinner. It wasn’t that he hated the set up and wanted to shoot it down, but the entire thing was so incredible and spontaneous that he felt words were not generous enough to describe it. All of it, from the twinkling of the chandelier’s crystals to the crackling of the flames from the vanilla-scented candles, intrigued Baekhyun.

“I can’t believe you did this for me.”

“For _us,_ Baekhyun. You and I.”

Baekhyun squinted. “There’s such a thing?”

“Do you not want there to be? I think that you and I are a pretty awesome combination.”

“Yeah...of course.”

Chanyeol raised his bowl of rice to Baekhyun and urged him to follow suit, which he did. There was a brief moment of déjà vu, and then Chanyeol spoke.. “I am glad I met you, Byun Baek. You made these past few weeks bearable, at the very least, and I hope I was able to do the same for you.” Baekhyun nodded his head. “Good, because then I’d have to take back everything I just said.”

“Is there a point to your speech?” the smaller asked jokingly, but then Chanyeol’s face turned solemn.

“I love you, Baekhyun.”

The clatter of a single ceramic bowl splintering on the table filled the apartment. Rice flew everywhere, even into Baekhyun’s hair, and he managed to stammer out an incoherent statement. “L-love who, you say-saying here?”

“Come again?”

“Yes exactly.”

“Okay, I love you. I can’t remember the last time I went to bed without your smile tainting my mind, or woke up without your scent chilling my bones. Need I say more?”

Baekhyun put a hand up. “No, but allow me. Why?”

“The heart wants what it wants.”

“Don’t give me that fortune cookie shit, Chanyeol. What are you trying to do?”

“Tell you that I love you. And that...I always will. But...”

He should’ve known. Baekhyun scolded himself, because he should’ve known this set up was actually a setup, and he blindly walked into the trap. He was quickly seeing that Chanyeol wasn’t the same man as before, when he was asking Baekhyun how much alcohol he wanted and such. He had kept something hidden all the while and was just trying to ease their conversation into the revealing of that secret, or whatever it was.

“Just tell me. ‘But’ what?”

“Chohee called.”

_Oh,_ Baekhyun said to himself, and he repeated it out loud. “Oh.”

“She’s ready.”

“Oh.” That was all Baekhyun could say for the first few minutes. “So, what does it mean for us?”

“It means that I have to move back home as soon as possible, and that would be tomorrow.”

“Home?”

Chanyeol tilted his head to the left and sighed. “I don’t live in town. Chohee and I have an estate where my mother lives. This is just the apartment that I keep for business.”

“And is that what I am? Business?”

“No! You’re my everything, but—”

“You met her first. I get it. But God, don’t sit there and say things like this to me if you know you can never act on them!” 

“I _have_ acted on them, more times than I ever thought I would! Don’t you dare think for one second that I wouldn’t rather have met you first!”

“Oh, I don’t blame you Chanyeol. Trust me. I’ve been so out of that I’d lost all sense of reality. You don’t have to justify yourself.”

“Baekhyun, please!”

“I just wish I wasn’t so dumb, but I’ve just remembered that we were never together anyway. I need to get out of here.” Baekhyun stood from the table and excused himself without another word. The front door clicked, and Chanyeol was left alone, both disgusted with and ashamed of himself.

-

_From: Kyungsoo @ Bjiou  
Chanyeol, don’t worry. He is safe and has a place to sleep for the night._

_To: Kyungsoo @ Bijou  
I can come pick him up if you’d like._

_From: Kyungsoo @ Bijou  
I’m afraid he wouldn’t like it, so it’s alright. He can stay here._

_To: Kyungsoo @ Bijou  
What about his phone? I still have it._

_From: Kyungsoo @ Bijou  
He says to meet at The Phoenix tomorrow at 4 p.m. Bring his phone._

_To: Kyungsoo @ Bijou  
Oh...okay. Thanks._

-

There were many things that were tainting his day with darkness, but Chanyeol knew that not having Baekhyun by his side ranked at number one. He didn’t want to go back to his old life or see the old people he used to associate with. None of them could compare to a life with Baekhyun, but Chanyeol had to think about who he’d be hurting if he chose what he wanted. Was it really fair at all?

-

Chanyeol showed up 15 minutes early at the garden. He hoped he’d make it before Baekhyun so that his sincerity wasn’t overshadowed by his natural habit of being late. Like the first time they met there, he went straight to the long line where people were waiting to get in and searched amongst them for his petite darling. But he was nowhere to be seen.

“Am I being stood up?” he asked himself when he could not find Baekhyun anywhere. The sickening sensation of his stomach churning made him want to throw up. Baekhyun had never struck him as somebody who would play with another person’s feelings. If he was trying to get back at Chanyeol, it was working.

Just when Chanyeol was ready to give up and go back to his apartment, someone spoke to him from behind. _“Well, that’d be pretty awful, wouldn’t it?”_

He could recognize that voice from a hundred miles away. “Baekhyun, you’re here!” Chanyeol turned on his heel and attacked Baekhyun with a hug. “I was beginning to think that you weren’t gonna come, but you’re here.”

“Yeah, I’m here. Um, my phone?” Baekhyun’s hand was supinated, and he was more distant than Chanyeol remembered. However, he gave Baekhyun the phone anyway and backed away. “Thanks. Now, let’s go.”

Chanyeol’s face contorted. “What?”

“We’re going to shop for flowers for your wedding.”

“My wedding? Baekhyun, that’s a long time from now.”

As though he was disappointed to hear it be confirmed, Baekhyun bowed his head. “Ah, but there will be one.”

“Stop it, Baekhyun. Let’s just go to Bijou and hang out with the kids.”

“I want to be your photographer. It’ll be out of my comfort zone, but I should give it a shot anyway.”

“Baekhyun!”

“What?! Did I say something wrong?! I just want to help you!”

“Then don’t push me away! If you want to help me, then treat me like I’m still the same person. Treat me like nothing has changed!”

“But _everything_ has changed, Chanyeol. I refuse to live a lie. I refuse to pretend that it doesn’t kill me, knowing I’m not the one who gets the happily ever after with you. But I also won’t sit here and act like I don’t want what’s best for you.” Baekhyun stared into Chanyeol’s dark brown eyes and gave him a damaged grin. “So please, let me do this, because I know it’ll be our last day together. I wanna make it the best.”

Chanyeol had never felt so sorry. “Baekhyun...”

“Hey, I’m okay. This is not a break-up, because in order for two people to be broken up, they need to be together in a certain way. And we never were, right?”

“No,” Chanyeol rasped, “No, we weren’t.”

-

Chanyeol sent all his workers outside so that he and Baekhyun could be alone in the floral house. Even Junmyeon knew something wasn’t right, making him move twice as quickly. After the house had been cleared, Chanyeol made Baekhyun sit down on the counter while he went to fetch some catalogues. When he returned, Baekhyun was looking at him with a wide grin that was obviously forced. It made Chanyeol uncomfortable, but he wanted them to be happy together.

“I brought all the catalogues we have,” he said loudly, slamming them down beside Baekhyun. “Where do you want to begin?”

“Calla lilies.”

“Okay, I think that one is—”

“No, I think you should have callas at your wedding. When is it? Will you still have them in the garden?”

“We haven’t really...talked about when our wedding will be yet. But yeah, I’ll still have them.”

Baekhyun flipped through one of the catalogues until he found a page with calla lilies on there. “They’ll be beautiful. I hope you guys decide on them.”

“I think so too. We’ll definitely be using them.”

The room quickly fell into silence. The air they breathed was dirtied with heartache and neither of them could shake off the undeniable pain they were undergoing, but they did their best to hide it from one another. Their last day should’ve been filled with laughter and well-wishing, not solemnity and hurt.

Chanyeol certainly thought so, and without so much as a warning, he went for Baekhyun’s lips. There was nothing to fear anymore if this was going to be their final hours. They should take advantage of every second, Chanyeol believed, and what could be better than one last kiss? He took Baekhyun into his care and let their passion guide the kiss. Baekhyun helped deepen it by locking his hands behind Chanyeol’s neck and pulled their bodies as close as he could. 

Each time their tongues battled it out, Chanyeol’s would win and he’d have the higher power, which Baekhyun didn’t mind so much. He just let himself be swept high into the air on a cloud, and even if he’d fall through the thin bottom, it’d be worth it.

“Chanyeol,” he rasped in between until they pulled apart, connected only by their foreheads.

“What is it, Baekhyun?”

“I-I love you, too.”

Chanyeol beamed with satisfaction. “I know you do, sweetheart. I know you do. But for now, we’ll just—”

“Let go?”

“Yeah. Hey, listen here though. Just this once, okay? In my next lifetime, and the rest of my lifetimes, I get you, and you get me. I’ll wait until I find you.” Baekhyun’s eyes formed the most beautiful teardrops that Chanyeol had ever seen. Nevertheless, he leaned in to kiss them all away. Not a single one deserved to be wasted.

-

It was about an hour after they’d decided on calla lilies when the bell on top of the door rang, calling their attention to the woman standing under the arch. From head to toe, she dripped with sophistication. Her white suit made her look like a flower of her own. The gold cuffs on her sleeves intimidated Baekhyun, for they said far too much about her social division, which gave him a very real idea of her personality.

“Chohee,” Chanyeol said, leaving Baekhyun’s side so he could get a better glare at her where the sun wasn’t blinding him. “How’d you know I was here?” He was tempted to turn back to Baekhyun, but she had already began giving him a mean look, and he didn’t want to risk any drama that’d put Baekhyun in an inferior position.

“I’m not stupid, baby! I’ve known you for so many years.”

“Okay, then I guess my question is, what are you doing here? I thought we said we’d meet at my mom’s.”

She walked to Chanyeol’s side, each click of her high heels sawing inch after inch into Baekhyun as he watched her take his arm like she owned it. (She pretty much did.)

“I couldn’t wait another minute to see you, so I thought I’d pick you up and we could head down there early. My parents are already on their way there.” Suddenly, her attention went back to Baekhyun when he hopped off the counter. She gave him a twisted expression, one full of confusion, and that was when he realized that Chohee wasn’t of pleasant company. She turned a shade of red. “Chanyeol, is he one of your workers? Why is he just sitting around like a lump?” She faced Baekhyun. “Who are you? Don’t you know that your boss likes a clean working space? Don’t just laze wherever you want! Get to work, or else I’ll be the one to cut your pay in half and you’ll barely have enough money to afford working shoes.”

“Excuse me, miss, but I am not an employee of the garden. I am actually the photographer for your wedding, and Mr. Park and I were just going over venues and flowers.”

“Oh, I see,” Chohee murmured. She tried to sound apologetic but it was the most insincere undertone Baekhyun had ever heard. “Welcome. I’m very grateful to have you on board. What’d you two decide on? Please tell me he didn’t try to push calla lilies on you.”

Baekhyun frowned, shaking his head. Until then, he had let it slip his mind. Chanyeol already told him that Chohee hated callas. “No, ma’am. He said he wanted to wait and discuss with you because your opinion matters most.”

That remark made her grin helplessly. “Good. Then we should get going. Maybe we can ask for help from the elders. If you don’t mind, could you still clean up around here though? It makes my head hurt just looking at it. Might as well make yourself useful until the big day comes, correct?” 

When Baekhyun nodded, she tugged Chanyeol’s arm and began to drag him out of the floral house, but he moved sluggishly, making an attempt to have just one more glimpse of Baekhyun.

-

The only good thing that came out of that day was the distance between The Phoenix and Baekhyun’s home. He couldn’t wait to get to his bedroom so he could scream and shout to his heart’s content. None of his previous losses could compare to this. He didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.

He stayed back to clean, just like Chohee had asked, but he couldn’t move more than three steps without breaking down. He shouldn’t have, but Baekhyun half-expected Chanyeol to come in at some point to defend him from her vicious words. Instead, he just stood by and listened. All the emotional damage that was inflicted on Baekhyun by that one woman caused him to believe that it was enjoyable for Chanyeol to watch an intelligent, classy woman like her to talk down to a nobody like Baekhyun, and that was why he didn’t say a word to protect him.

That wasn’t the Chanyeol he knew, clearly, but he also didn’t know the Chanyeol that belonged to Chohee. For all he knew, they could’ve been two different people. He was certain that he only fell in love with one of them though, and unfortunately, he was _still_ in love with him.

He had nothing but the memories encrypted within him to help him get through the very rough remainder of the day, and probably the rest of his life, though he hardly wanted to keep them. They were their own form of torture, because even if they could appease the resentment in his heart, they also reminded Baekhyun that his problems didn’t have a definite end, just like his affection for Chanyeol. For as long as he chose to love Chanyeol, he’d have to put up with the torment.

Thinking about it made him feel worse. He wondered, when he plopped down on his bed, if it was possible. Could he sleep his problems away at 5:30 in the evening and never wake up?

-

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

And the fourth time was when Baekhyun realized he needed to wake up. His phone rang relentlessly until he managed to pick it up. “Hello?”

_“Baekhyun!”_

That was the one and only Sooyeon. “What is it?”

_“There’s an emergency! You need to get here now!”_

He got on his feet swifter than he had ever been able to before. “What happened?!”

_“Hurry, please!”_

“Sooyeon—”

The line went silent, and Baekhyun’s heart disappeared into the depths of a cavity that was forming in his gut.

-

Baekhyun knew he wasn’t the most athletic person in the world, but rather than taking his bike or his neighbor’s car or a cab, he sprinted to Bijou. There were faster means of communication, he knew very well; however, he wanted some time to conjure up the worst things that could’ve happened at the hospital that required his attendance at 11:40 p.m.

He had never heard Sooyeon’s voice waver so much before, and that was how he deduced it was an urgent case. Could another child have passed away? Was there a fire? What exactly was going on? Question after question popped up in Baekhyun’s head as the hospital grew closer, and he ran even more hastily. He took two steps at a time up to Ward 6 and burst through the doors.

“What’s going on?!” he cried. Clearly, there was no fire, and no one seemed to be in danger or at risk. Even with those options out of the way, Baekhyun was still confused.

All the children, all the staff, and even a few extras that weren’t from Ward 6, stood in two straight lines in front of him. They each had a flower in hand, and they wore cheesy smiles that made Baekhyun back up into the doors. He asked the same question again, only quieter. “What’s going on, you guys?”

The first child approached him. He unscrolled a piece of paper that was attached to the stem of a stargazer lily and read off the paper. “Chanyeol says: ‘I love the way you look at me like I’m the most beautiful person in the world.’” The little boy let go of the scroll and handed the flower to Baekhyun, who accepted it while under the influence of awe.

Another child, this time a girl, brought him a marigold. “Chanyeol says: ‘I love the shade of your eyes.’” She handed him the flower.

The process repeated more times than he could count.

“Chanyeol says: ‘I love your eyes and how they light up when you’re excited.’”

“Chanyeol says: ‘I love your genuine kindness.’”

“Chanyeol says: ‘I love how much you care for the children.’”

“Chanyeol says: ‘I love the sound of your voice, even when you say nothing.’”

Kyungsoo came up next. He seemed excited to read his note. “Chanyeol says: ‘I love how you speak your heart, not your mind.’”

Jongin followed. “Chanyeol says: ‘I love the way you live your life.’”

Next was Sooyeon. “Chanyeol says: ‘I love holding your fragile body.’”

Even Doctor Jung had become part of this. “Chanyeol says: ‘I love the way your nose crinkles up when you laugh.’”

By the time Baekhyun accepted that flower, he was drowning in his own tears. More kids came and went, each with a message that nearly ripped Baekhyun’s heart out of his chest. The only person left, shockingly enough, was Mrs. Park, making Baekhyun gasp while she recited her memo loud and clear.

“Chanyeol says: ‘I love that you love me in spite of, and because, of my flaws.’”

In his arms, he had at least two dozens of a variety of flowers, but the reason why was still unclear. He was ready to voice his inquiries when the door to the back room flew open and his answer came gliding in with a calla lily. Chanyeol walked and walked down the long aisle until he reached Baekhyun. He let out a sob and covered his mouth, but Chanyeol got down on one knee and held out the flower.

“Chanyeol says: ‘I love you, and only you. Will you marry me and make me the luckiest man alive?’”

The room submerged into the whoops and the cheers from the children. They all bellowed to Baekhyun, encouraging him to say yes, but Baekhyun held a hand up to shush them and returned to Chanyeol.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have to meet with Chohee’s parents?”

“There’s a flower for every day I’ve known and loved you. Six weeks with you meant more to me than six years with her. I refuse to live a lie. I refuse to pretend that the one I love is her, when it’s really _you._ ” Still on his knees, Chanyeol closed the remaining space between them. “They always say to show, not tell, but because I’m gonna be showing you for the rest of our lives, let me just say one more time that I love you.”

“Chanyeol...”

“Oh my God, I love you so much Byun Baekhyun. The way of your words, the scent of your skin, your body, your heart. You are everything I’ve ever wanted. Did you really think I wouldn’t come back to you, especially after having you tell me that you love me?” Chanyeol got to his feet and held both sides of Baekhyun’s face. “We were stupid and kept saying that we were surrendering because we didn’t meet first, but we were wrong. You are the love of my life, the person of my dreams. I met you from the moment I was born.”

Baekhyun threw his arms over Chanyeol’s shoulders and fastened them. He was half-crying, half-laughing at the way fate and love worked wonders around the worst situations. Overwhelmed yet grateful, Baekhyun smashed their lips together, and in the background, the whistling and roaring picked up from where it left off.

“Wait,” Baekhyun muttered, pulling away first. “What happened with her, Chohee? I need to know. Did I—am I a homewrecker?”

Chanyeol smiled, for whatever reason, and pecked Baekhyun’s forehead. “It’s not that long of a story, but you should know that I was halfway to my mother’s when I realized I was marrying her for all the wrong reasons. I was doing it to make my mother happy, yet what good was it if I was unhappy?” Chanyeol swept Baekhyun’s bangs out of his face and looked straight into his eyes, sparing him absolutely no room to breathe. “Then, we arrived in town, at the shop, and my mother was the one telling me that it was all a mistake. She...she was the one who made sure that I got back home, to you.”

Baekhyun looked over to Mrs. Park. She had tears falling on both sides of her pink face but a grin as wide as his own. She raised a hand and waved; Baekhyun waved back.

“Do you love me?” Chanyeol asked softly, turning Baekhyun’s head back to him by his chin.

“I do,” the smaller whispered. “I really, really do.”

“Then answer my question: Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” Baekhyun shouted without hesitation, giving Chanyeol yet another everlasting kiss on the lips. Even through the commotion, the audience could hear this snippet of their conversation, causing them to applaud with even more power. Baekhyun wouldn’t have had it any other way.

With the undying support of his Bijou family, the guidance of his baby angel, and his one true love, he felt that he was finally being given his happy beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave your review on LiveJournal. ♥


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